Wasturbation 

The act of masturbating and using wasabi as lubricant.

The term originated in Japanese camps within the United States during World War II when many prisoners did not have proper lube to pleasure themselves.

After a long lonely night, the restaurant was empty so the sushi chef decided to wasturbate.

Oh man, it hurts so good!!! He exclaimed after he finished a marvelous wasturbation session

Wasturbation by Ninja-m8 September 14, 2016

wasturbation 

n. massage the skin on your elbow
see also:
v. wasturbate - to massage the skin on your elbow
n. wenis - the skin on your elbow

Ouch, I scrapped my wenis! Now I have to wasturbate

Wasturbation is an easy and fun way to make your wenis feel better.

wasturbation by Nonamecharley May 23, 2006

Comedic Masturbation 

When you are so funny by yourself that you laugh out loud without any participation by a partner.

Progresses from a small grin to a smile to a quiet giggle and then quickly reaches the climactic event of an audible belly laugh, or LOL. Following climax, tissue is often used to dry resulting wetness occuring in the ocular region.

My humor is not always understood by others and I frequently find myself involuntarily engaging in comedic masturbation.

Comedic Masturbation by K-Rista-Raaah July 22, 2016

Pasturbation 

Obsessively romanticizing the past.

Mad Men is great TV, if you're into pasturbation.

Pasturbation by fraying August 31, 2010

Bureaucratic Masturbation 

noun - 1. Engaging in any activity for the sake of making one feel better about themselves, their organization, or their company without actually accomplishing anything. 2. Holding meetings to provide recommendations only to have management do what they wanted in the first place. 3. Holding special work group meetings to make the 'little people' feel ownership, when the decision has already been made by higher levels of management.

My boss has picked me to suffer through more Bureaucratic Masturbation, representing the department on a policy work group.
I spent the last 3 months researching the best candidate for the position and the Boss picked his pet employee anyway. God I hat Bureaucratic Masturbation!

Bureaucratic Masturbation by Bill Koogler January 17, 2008

Masturbation guilt 

The sense of guilt you feel post-masturbation when you realized what you have just jerked yourself off to.

"Oh God, what have I done? I did not just masturbate to bestiality.. talk about masturbation guilt.

Masturbation guilt by GunaDK January 19, 2012

Public Masturbation 

The reason I am no longer allowed on public transportation.

I definitely should not have participated in Public masturbation on that subway.

Public Masturbation by thepseudonymousbosch February 21, 2017