Good God mate, I cou na down another pint. I got good and pissed las' night and me gut is vindalooed.

Translation:
I invoke the name of the Saviour, my friend, for I am unable to consume another serving of malted beverage. The evening previous to this I consumed libations in copious amounts. My digestive system is yet massively disrupted.

Translation II: Shit bro, no more fuckin' beers. I got totally shit-faced last night and my guts are still all fucked up.

Bro since I got dirtpilled on Tuesday I have made sooo many worm friends and made them soo many little houses to get married in. Me? Lonely? No you’re the lonely one u lawn owning freak