Vampire Dick

The condition whereby you look in the mirror and you're so fat you can no longer see your cock.

After eating and drinking like a pig for the past year, I stepped out of the shower this morn and saw in my reflection that I now had vampire dick.

Vampire Dick by Sebastiandangerfield July 18, 2018

vampire dick

The state of existence your penis is left in when someone sucks it too hard and doesn't mind their canine teeth.

Yes I'd love to fuck you baby but I got a bad case of vampire dick... Maybe you should wear a mouthguard next time you blow me.

vampire dick by dopiwan November 16, 2011

Vampire Dick

A condition in which a man craves period sex

Tom is always more eager to bang when I’m on my period. He’s got vampire dick.

Vampire Dick by Colossal Horse July 2, 2020

Vampire dick sucking 

Vampire dick sucking occurs when the one individual performing the act of fellatio bites the head off of the reciever's penis, then proceeds to suck all the blood from the penis and the rest of the body for adequate nutrients

Potential method of suicide, not a popular choice

Tim: Did you hear about the mishap with Stacy's diet?
Joe: Nah bruh give me the dirt
Tim: she got so hungry that she sucked the life out of her boyfriend during netflix and chill, vampire style yo
Joe: damn yo, that vampire dick sucking ain't no joke

Vampire dick sucking by Le bass wuber March 19, 2018

Dick vampire 

A person in need of cock to survive. Lives of the semen of others. Jaw is similar to the vampires from Blade 2.

Mark threw on his kneepads and instantaneously became a dick vampire. He quickly skidded across the groung and latched his mandibles to Nicks gooch with a resounding tha-whack.

Dick vampire by SOJAA December 25, 2016

dick vampire 

A person who sucks dick obsessively like a vampire sucks blood.

She is such a dick vampire.

dick vampire by #malatto May 29, 2014

Dick nosed vampire 

one who thinks that the freeway is a nascar track. Swerving through lanes without regard to safety during commute hours but not managing to pass many people.

Look at that dick nosed vampire he needs to relax this is not nascar it's the monday morning commute.

Dick nosed vampire by zoobileezoo April 17, 2009