You have to get over the "sparkles in sunlight means not a real vampire" obsession and look past the lameocity of the story line. Really the vampire thing is just for a climax.
Teenage girl's who want to save themselves for marriage need to get off too.
It doesn't matter how cliche it ends up being on the teenage romance junky story line, there's a few crucial less failure points. Oh doesn't it make the teenage virgins go wild. Why are your panties getting wet? You've got orgasm.
Almost completely not cliche themes:
1. The average love-struck teenager novel ends up being the "I love you, I'd do anything for you, I will even refrain from cheating on you" reaction: want to vomit up ravioli. Twilight puts a twist to the average teenage romance "I love you, I'd do anything for you, I will even refrain from peircing you with my teeth and sucking your blood till there is only a suringe full left then I will shoot it up and stay high off you till my eye's turn black again. Reaction: triggers minor acid reflex, still tastes better than ravioli vomit.
Teenage girl's who want to save themselves for marriage need to get off too.
It doesn't matter how cliche it ends up being on the teenage romance junky story line, there's a few crucial less failure points. Oh doesn't it make the teenage virgins go wild. Why are your panties getting wet? You've got orgasm.
Almost completely not cliche themes:
1. The average love-struck teenager novel ends up being the "I love you, I'd do anything for you, I will even refrain from cheating on you" reaction: want to vomit up ravioli. Twilight puts a twist to the average teenage romance "I love you, I'd do anything for you, I will even refrain from peircing you with my teeth and sucking your blood till there is only a suringe full left then I will shoot it up and stay high off you till my eye's turn black again. Reaction: triggers minor acid reflex, still tastes better than ravioli vomit.
2. Other teenage love-triangle novels use terms such as "I'm going to shoot your boyfriend in the head to earn your love. Friggen Loser I'll beat him. Let's have babies."
Twilight's Twist: "I'm going to rip off your boyfriend's head with my teeth and continue to mouth rape his stone flesh until he is in a few major pieces then insert them into the bon-fire as my tribe tells stories of our ancestor's doing the same to the other bastards of his clan. All to earn your love. Friggen Lice I'll treat him. Let's have puppies."
3. When the average girl wants to lose her virginity to her first boyfriend little preparation involved shaved legs, new allegedly sexy scent here and there then she lays down on the bed and finally lets him in between her legs "I just stole my sister's birth control *wink wink*" all he has to say is "Are you sure? I don't want to take advantage of you. You're positive? Okay."
Twilight Version: When a Twilighted girl wants to lose her virginity to her first boyfriend she has to be coniving and convincing to seduce him. Maybe a little papercut here or a bloody popped zit there. "I just started my period wanna taste *wink wink*?" But all he's ever interested in is souls. "I've killed people so if I want to have any chance of getting into Heaven I need to save myself until marriage."
These non-failure, hardly cliche at all themes and many more can be found in 700 out of 3,000 pages of the Twilight Saga.
Twilight's Twist: "I'm going to rip off your boyfriend's head with my teeth and continue to mouth rape his stone flesh until he is in a few major pieces then insert them into the bon-fire as my tribe tells stories of our ancestor's doing the same to the other bastards of his clan. All to earn your love. Friggen Lice I'll treat him. Let's have puppies."
3. When the average girl wants to lose her virginity to her first boyfriend little preparation involved shaved legs, new allegedly sexy scent here and there then she lays down on the bed and finally lets him in between her legs "I just stole my sister's birth control *wink wink*" all he has to say is "Are you sure? I don't want to take advantage of you. You're positive? Okay."
Twilight Version: When a Twilighted girl wants to lose her virginity to her first boyfriend she has to be coniving and convincing to seduce him. Maybe a little papercut here or a bloody popped zit there. "I just started my period wanna taste *wink wink*?" But all he's ever interested in is souls. "I've killed people so if I want to have any chance of getting into Heaven I need to save myself until marriage."
These non-failure, hardly cliche at all themes and many more can be found in 700 out of 3,000 pages of the Twilight Saga.
by Sadistic Sarcasm May 14, 2010
A generally addicting and well written, but extremely cliche series by Stephanie Meyer.
The four books in order are: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. The saga has been a sensation amoung teenage girls.
Here is my run-down of the series:
Twilight: A plain and clumsy teenage girl named Bella moves to a small town called Forks were no plotline exists. There all the guys in town fall in love with our not so pretty protagonist(????)Anyways Bella meets the town hottie, Edward who (guess what) is a vampire. (But don't be misled, he's not allergic to garlic bread and dosn't spontaneosly combust when you put him in the sun.)In fact he has no fangs, sparkles, and can be seen in a mirror. Edward himself, who diets on animal blood, is quite lacking in personality for a hundred year old emortal. He is descirbed as being God-like and generally perfect. Oh yes, and aparently Bella smells yummy. In summary the first book is a lot of Edward saying "Stay away from me I'm a monster!" And Bella Saying "No I love you!"
New Moon: Edward leaves Bella for her "own good" so Bella turns emo. She begins to hang out with her friend Jacob who of course turns out to be a werewolf. Bella is extremely clingy and Jacob falls for her, but of course Bella can't live without Edward and rather then seeing a therapist, resorts to throwing herself off of cliffs. Edward beleiving she's dead, tries to get himself killed by the vampire mofia. In the end they become a couple again and no one dies.
Eclipse: Bella can't pick between Edward and Jacob, so the whole story becomes a sick love-triangle. Oh yes and some vampires want to kill Bella again so it becomes epic. Then Bella picks Edward, the end.
Breaking Dawn: Wow. So Edward and Bella get married, then they go to a private island and have oodles of sex, which resorts in torn up pillows and broken head boards. Then we find out Bella is pregnant with a rapidly growing mutant demon baby. Cute. So anyways the baby basically beats up Bella from the inside and drinks blood as a fetus. Then for several chapters Jacob takes over narration and complains a lot. Finally Bella gets a c-section that Edward performs with his teeth, and she becomes a vampire. And after it seems it can't become anymore disturbing Jacob imprints (falls in love) with the mutant baby named Renesmee. Long story short the vampire mofia wants to kill the baby which resorts in a very anti-climactic meeting. And the saga ends with Bella and Edward having more vampire sex. The end.
The books are so popular they have begun to make them into movies, and many teenage girls are swooning for the fictional character Edward. The Twilight saga has created a very large fandom.
The four books in order are: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. The saga has been a sensation amoung teenage girls.
Here is my run-down of the series:
Twilight: A plain and clumsy teenage girl named Bella moves to a small town called Forks were no plotline exists. There all the guys in town fall in love with our not so pretty protagonist(????)Anyways Bella meets the town hottie, Edward who (guess what) is a vampire. (But don't be misled, he's not allergic to garlic bread and dosn't spontaneosly combust when you put him in the sun.)In fact he has no fangs, sparkles, and can be seen in a mirror. Edward himself, who diets on animal blood, is quite lacking in personality for a hundred year old emortal. He is descirbed as being God-like and generally perfect. Oh yes, and aparently Bella smells yummy. In summary the first book is a lot of Edward saying "Stay away from me I'm a monster!" And Bella Saying "No I love you!"
New Moon: Edward leaves Bella for her "own good" so Bella turns emo. She begins to hang out with her friend Jacob who of course turns out to be a werewolf. Bella is extremely clingy and Jacob falls for her, but of course Bella can't live without Edward and rather then seeing a therapist, resorts to throwing herself off of cliffs. Edward beleiving she's dead, tries to get himself killed by the vampire mofia. In the end they become a couple again and no one dies.
Eclipse: Bella can't pick between Edward and Jacob, so the whole story becomes a sick love-triangle. Oh yes and some vampires want to kill Bella again so it becomes epic. Then Bella picks Edward, the end.
Breaking Dawn: Wow. So Edward and Bella get married, then they go to a private island and have oodles of sex, which resorts in torn up pillows and broken head boards. Then we find out Bella is pregnant with a rapidly growing mutant demon baby. Cute. So anyways the baby basically beats up Bella from the inside and drinks blood as a fetus. Then for several chapters Jacob takes over narration and complains a lot. Finally Bella gets a c-section that Edward performs with his teeth, and she becomes a vampire. And after it seems it can't become anymore disturbing Jacob imprints (falls in love) with the mutant baby named Renesmee. Long story short the vampire mofia wants to kill the baby which resorts in a very anti-climactic meeting. And the saga ends with Bella and Edward having more vampire sex. The end.
The books are so popular they have begun to make them into movies, and many teenage girls are swooning for the fictional character Edward. The Twilight saga has created a very large fandom.
by FantasyBandit April 19, 2009
by RideDucati April 25, 2016
At first started as books but now movies, Edward Cullen is a vampire (sparkles in the light; can hear peoples thoughts) who falls in love with a human girl (Bella Swan).
by yesjustlikethefruit August 1, 2018
An incredibly good series by Stephenie Meyer, the books include (in order) Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. The main characters are Edward Cullen, Bella Swan, and Jacob Black. I don't want to give away the whole series, so just give it a chance and read the books to find out more
by Stephanie XD February 24, 2009
Everyones guilty pleasure. Many claim to hate it yet they have watched every movie to "make fun of it".
Person 1: " Twilight Saga is shit"
Person 2:" Really then why do you keep paying money to watch it when its out in theaters"
Person 1: ".."
Person 2:" Really then why do you keep paying money to watch it when its out in theaters"
Person 1: ".."
by JennaLove July 3, 2012
A series of "books" written by Stephenie Meyer.
Plot- Bella Swan moves to Forks, Washington and falls in love with a vampire who goes to her new school. Most of the plot can be told in a single chapter, but there are four books.
Characters:
Bella Swan- Clumsy and depressed highschool girl who can't defend herself and needs Edward to depend on.
Edward Cullen- A broody vampire who falls in love with Bella even though he wants to drink her blood.
Jacob Black- A werewolf who is jealous of Edward and doesn't seem to understand if Bella didn't want him then, she doesn't want him now.
Message- Most of the message is that it's very important to find the person of your dreams. Another big part of the message is that women are incapable and must have their man to be around to protect them all the time.
Rumors- A lot of people say Twilight was ripped off from a lot of other Sci-fi and fantasy TV shows.
Example- Season 1 episode 7 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy finds out her boyfriend is a vampire and other evil vampires set out to kill them both. ONE episode of Buffy is FOUR books of Twilight.
Author- Stephenie Meyer had a dream and wrote it out so she wouldn't forget. Out of boredom, she wrote out what would happen if the dream had continued. She then published it as a book and skipped the entire writing process.
Plot- Bella Swan moves to Forks, Washington and falls in love with a vampire who goes to her new school. Most of the plot can be told in a single chapter, but there are four books.
Characters:
Bella Swan- Clumsy and depressed highschool girl who can't defend herself and needs Edward to depend on.
Edward Cullen- A broody vampire who falls in love with Bella even though he wants to drink her blood.
Jacob Black- A werewolf who is jealous of Edward and doesn't seem to understand if Bella didn't want him then, she doesn't want him now.
Message- Most of the message is that it's very important to find the person of your dreams. Another big part of the message is that women are incapable and must have their man to be around to protect them all the time.
Rumors- A lot of people say Twilight was ripped off from a lot of other Sci-fi and fantasy TV shows.
Example- Season 1 episode 7 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy finds out her boyfriend is a vampire and other evil vampires set out to kill them both. ONE episode of Buffy is FOUR books of Twilight.
Author- Stephenie Meyer had a dream and wrote it out so she wouldn't forget. Out of boredom, she wrote out what would happen if the dream had continued. She then published it as a book and skipped the entire writing process.
The Twilight saga:
Twilight: Bella falls in love with Edward and he protects her from evil vampires.
New Moon: Edward does ONE right thing for Bella and leaves her, but she can't do anything on her own she throws a year long tantrum over a boy she'd known for a couple months. She then leads on Jacob and throws him away when Edward comes back.
Eclipse: More evil vampires come. Edward kills them. Jacob is still jealous.
Breaking Dawn: More evil vampires come and Edward kills them. Jacob is still jealous. Instead of having an amazing ending, Bella becomes a vampire and has a baby. That's the ending.
Twilight: Bella falls in love with Edward and he protects her from evil vampires.
New Moon: Edward does ONE right thing for Bella and leaves her, but she can't do anything on her own she throws a year long tantrum over a boy she'd known for a couple months. She then leads on Jacob and throws him away when Edward comes back.
Eclipse: More evil vampires come. Edward kills them. Jacob is still jealous.
Breaking Dawn: More evil vampires come and Edward kills them. Jacob is still jealous. Instead of having an amazing ending, Bella becomes a vampire and has a baby. That's the ending.
by dhgatghuaerohar5gh'R5'ah August 12, 2011