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Turd Alert 

An email message sent to your circle of friends at work after the discovery of brown matter that didn't quite make it into the toilet bowl.
TURD ALERT … TURD ALERT … TURD ALERT
Alert Level: brown
Location: first stall, ladies room
Status: uncomfirmed (sorry, even with contacts I can’t identify suspect 100%)
MO: inconspicuously positioned to the left side of porcelain goddess; proceed with caution, and avoid stall numero uno at all costs
Turd Alert by Fruity Ana January 19, 2009

Amber Turd Alert 

An alert issued to warn the public of an insane adult woman who is likely to attack people with feces and besmirch people's reputations
"That lady is throwing poop at people."
"Quick, issue an Amber Turd Alert!"