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Starched Towelette

The art of masturbating into a kitchen or bathroom towel, then returning it to the shelf folded away as if nothing happened.
Dude.... why are these towels sticking together???

- well remember when you were flurting with my girlfriend?? i decided to come in here and "starch" them for you.

dude......

Brad was being a real douche bag so i went in his house while he was at the bank and starched all of his towels.

In the that episode of South Park about Towely's intervention.... "Towleye" (as he spells it) was extra starchy.

starched towelette
Related Words

toweled up 

Term used to refer to an individual's funny or painful incident. Often used in relation to surfing or contact sports.
"Hey, did you see Colmslater in the surf today? He really got toweled up."

"Don't try to start anything with those guys. They're about 25- you'd get toweled up."

Towelhead Wifi 

A wifi connection that would make hugesnet blush, dirt cheap internet service typically used by slumlord Saudi Arabian greed driven scumbags who marry white women in order to remain in the country, most typically found in poorly maintained single star motels riddled with bedbugs and cockroaches.
David: Man, the wifi here is utter dogshit conncection timed out connection timed out connection timed out fuck!
Mark: Blame that penny pinching greasy foreign fuck for that towelhead wifi.
The ultimate guide to the wisdom of being high. Towelie is synonimous with everything about being part of the 21st century and being high - the things that he says and does hold true and close meanings to our everyday lives.
"Towelie, you're the worst character ever" - You're so not! :)

"You wanna get high" - meaning yeah life is a bummer, but we can easily forget that.

"Don't forget to bring a towel" - It's like love itself, bring a towel and everyone will love you. See also Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy.

"Oh man, I'm so high right now, I have no idea what is going on" - You're damn straight!
A perpetually burned-out talking towel on South Park. Loves to smoke marijuana (even though Mr. Mackey says "Drugs are bad, mmmkay?").
No, Towelie, we do NOT want to get high!
Towelie by SiliconHero April 25, 2003
A "smart" towel manufactured by Tynacorp in the Paramount cartoon series South Park, Towelie is a computer-equipped, sentient, walking, talking, blue Bathroom Towel.

Towelie is also a rather heavy marijuana user, and makes no secret of it.

Most Memorable Moment:

Towelie: "Don't preach to me, fatso!"
Cartman: "I can preach to you all I want 'cause your stupid!"
Towelie: "Your stupid!"
Cartman: "Yeah, but your a towel!"
Towelie: "Your a towel!"
Cartman: ".............................."
Oh no, not Towelie...
Towelie by kjun1_3 February 25, 2011