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Toliet paper

The softest, most useful material on earth. A beutifal soft piece of paper used to clean anything wet or dirty. Usually coming in a roll, and used mainly in the bathroom.
"I used the whole role of toliet paper after that dump"

"Bro, here's some toliet paper to wipe that off"
by A dead man January 15, 2018
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√toliet paper

Used to describe the translucent jumbo rolls of "toliet paper" found is such places as hospitals, college dorms, bars, etc. It takes about 50+ sheets of "toliet paper" to wipe sufficiently & usually rips off one sheet at a time
I'm sick of using the √toliet paper to wipe my ass with at work, I may have to bring in a roll of charmin
by jifter November 7, 2010
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Toilet Paper Diploma

A diploma worthy only to use as toilet paper. A meaningless diploma. A diploma that is not recognized in any meaningful way.
Yay I got my toilet paper diploma in fine arts!

I didn't even have to take a test to receive that toilet paper diploma.

I don't know why Mike hangs that toilet paper diploma in his office. It's not recognized by anyone outside this office, and by almost noone inside this office.
by Eddy August 5, 2007
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soft toilet paper phase

Similar to honeymoon phase but in the business world. Its the short period after someone leaves a business to start their own business, or the original business changes hands. It is characterized by better quality and more expensive toilet paper. It usually ends after a short time when the new owner/boss decides that it was important to cut costs and comfort. It is a symbolization of how a new owner thinks the people working there deserve better until they turn into the same kind of boss they replaced.
I looked forward to when Adam bought the business from his dad Mike, but after the soft toilet paper phase it became the same old grind
by Guy Snyder November 14, 2014
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Toilet paper

A sacred piece of worship material that loves ur bum and which people think will give u corona immunity (that's why they're selling out btw.)
Toilet paper is a sacred paper. Which is a ritual that is commonly performed, as we use it to clean?
by LazyPotatoChip March 7, 2020
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oh shit im out of toilet paper

1.That critical moment when you are taking a dump and you realize that you'll be wiping your ass with a sock, since the facilities you have entered, cannot supply a substantial amount of toilet paper for your needs.

2.Commonly used phrase in a minority neighborhood.
Owen cried out in agony: "oh shit im out of toilet paper", after he finished his business in some random guy's house.
by Djw14 April 2, 2011
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no-ply toilet paper

toilet paper that is so thin that one has to make multiple folds of it before wiping. Usually found in schools, fast food joints, and government offices.
Roger: Man, I hate using the bathroom at school.

Dave: How's that?
Roger: Man, they use that no-ply toilet paper. You got to wad it up at least 4 times to protect your hands!
by brooskitooski September 11, 2010
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