Person 1: "Hey, I got a great new job, paying $150k, working for a company that makes facebook apps!"

Person 2: "Really? Is it real paper or toilet paper?"

Person 1: "$60k base, $90k stock"

Person 2: "oh, so mostly toilet paper..."

toilet paper absorbs my cum

Bob: Hey you got any toilet paper?
Mike: What the fuck is that?
Bob: ...

Greg: Hey Criag, have you seen any toilet paper?
Craig: Nah Greg, its toilet paper
Both in unison: Damnit.

Tom: can I have some toilet paper?
Bill: we don’t have any. I haven’t seen any since 2019. But I have sandpaper

example:
someone: *carries 5 bags of toilet paper out of store*
shelves: *empty*
~the next day~
*lorry comes with bags of toilet paper just as the store opens*
everyone runs into the store, grabbing all the toilet paper they can carry.
someone else: iS iT bLaCk FrIdAy?