Fisting a girl with honey as lubricant and smacking her forehead with a handful of semen and having her recite lines from the Fantastic Four comics.
Eddie: "I gave my girl a Jessica Alba last night."
Tom: "How'd she like it?"
Eddie: "I dunno man, she just kept screamin' "IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!" I'm definitely switchin' to molasses."
by Daniel Eastman April 23, 2005
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(1)a female with both looks and brains, but doesn't have to use them to attain popularity; the opposite of a paris hilton
(2)a attractive multi-racial female, also known as a dark angel. Similar term: halle berry
Tammi is definitely a jessica alba; she will come out on top in any situation.
by Rolie Platnin July 20, 2005
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An alternative to porn when men want to masturbate.
Example 1:

Jerking
Every
Second
Savagely
Imagining
Caressing
Alba
And
Licking
Beautiful
Alba

Example 2:

Joe: Hey Bob, you wanna go drinking at the bar tonight?

Bob: Nah, there's always a huge traffic jam up there every Friday. I think I'm gonna stay home and masturbate.

Joe: If I am at the liberty of asking, to whom or what will you be pleasuring yourself to this evening?

Bob: I don't know, I'm getting bored of the same old stuff.

Joe: What about Jessica Alba? She really gets my balls brewing!

Bob: Great idea! She's also been falsely regarded as the "sexiest woman alive" for quite some time now. Sexiest woman in the fucking Known Universe is more like it!

Joe: Fuck yeah! Now go fap off to that shit!

Bob: I will!

Example 3:

John: Did you see that chick that just walked by? What a babe, I would chop off my legs and arms just to have the opportunity to eat her shit.

Jay: Yeah, she's a total Jessica Alba.
by TZG_Eleven June 15, 2011
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By far, one of the most attractive women that have blessed the earth. At the tender age of 12, she was cast on to the movie "Camp Nowhere". Eventually, within time, she landed roles on the short-lived Dark Angel (2 seasons aired) and had become one famous attractive lady. In the year of 2003, she was cast in the hip-hop dance flick "Honey", which in my honest opinion, you should only watch because Jessica Alba is in it. Everything else pretty much sucks. More recently, she has done Sin City and Fantastic Four in which many more men have begun to savor the lust of Jessica Alba. From what has been portrayed in magazines, Jessica Alba is a very sweet, caring girl that stands on her own two feet and does what she wants.

If I may also add, from such a disappointment as Honey (it was sure to ruin her carreer) Ms. Alba had recovered from the wreck, which is a very hard, if not hardest task to accomplish in all the abundance of Hollywood there is. So if you're reading this, Ms. Alba, my props go out to you.
George: HOLY COW BILL! If I ever meet Jessica Alba, I would gently kiss her on the cheek.

Bill: Are you serious? That's it? Knowing all these perverted 10-18 year old boys, I'd figure you'd do a whole lot more. I guess that makes you a GENTLEMAN.
by Fiel July 30, 2005
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The most Perfect Woman in the World. Created with Sugar, Spice, and everything Nice. Like the powerpuff girls.
"dude..if Jessica Alba ever got within 10 feet of me..i would do her right then and there."
by U-shin August 21, 2005
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