Stretch Harmstrong Junior
(SHSJ)- Typically a male with medium to long hair and a thin , patchy mustache. Goons to hentai and insta reels. LIVES on his computer. Will message first but begins growing distant after you message back.
He WILL ask why you like why you do, when you ask him to clarify he send back “why you like, why you do”. NEVER attempt to make a joke outside his “humor”.
His “humor” includes:
young children/infants get injured in various ways.
Women sitting on cake
Sexual jokes-especially to people younger than him
He spends his days scrolling Instagram, finding young women to DM. If said women continue to DM him outside his designated Instagram IM time.
Be warned, if you try to open up to him about on going harassment from men of whom are significantly older, he WILL tell you-
“You’re not being harassed, you’re just uncomfortable.”
HE IS DANGEROUS. DO NOT ENGAGE.
Theodore, come home the kids miss you.
He WILL ask why you like why you do, when you ask him to clarify he send back “why you like, why you do”. NEVER attempt to make a joke outside his “humor”.
His “humor” includes:
young children/infants get injured in various ways.
Women sitting on cake
Sexual jokes-especially to people younger than him
He spends his days scrolling Instagram, finding young women to DM. If said women continue to DM him outside his designated Instagram IM time.
Be warned, if you try to open up to him about on going harassment from men of whom are significantly older, he WILL tell you-
“You’re not being harassed, you’re just uncomfortable.”
HE IS DANGEROUS. DO NOT ENGAGE.
Theodore, come home the kids miss you.
There are currently ELEVEN Stretch Harmstrong Junior’s in the world. ZERO of which use shampoo :(. OnlY FOURTEEN can co-exist at a time. Abraham LINCOLN was a SHSJ, especially when he visited HAGERSTOWN.
Stretch Harmstrong Junior by Str8OuttaChiraq June 29, 2025
