Stonked

To be crazy, out of order.

Teacher: They scheduled a fire drill today at 1:30
Roadman: Man said scheduled fire drill fam ARE YOU STONKED?!

by StonkeyDonkey December 23, 2020

Stonked

To be severely Stoned, usually accompanied by being drunk but not always.

To get Stonked or Stonkered you need to have smoked plenty of Weed or Cannabis either in Spliffs or Bongs etc

Tim: Dude I'm absolutely f**king Stonked!
Daz: Dude me too, no more spliff for me I'll chuck a Whitie!

by Snoodbanger December 20, 2006

Stonked

To be very, very stoked but in a seemingly apathetic way.

Dude 1: I know you can’t tell but he’s beyond excited about that raise

Dude 2: so he’s stonked?

Dude 1: that’s not a real word

Dude 2: ...

by Ldiggitydawg April 08, 2020

Stonked

To be very drunk

“Gemma, Sam and Emily were so stonked last night”

by Stonked December 11, 2020

Stonks

A term to express a financial decision that resulted in financial gain. Mostly used ironically.

*1998 Yahoo refuses to buy Google for $1 million
*2002 Yahoo realizes it’s mistake, tried to buy Google for $3 billion, Google wants $5 billion, Yahoo says no
*2008 Yahoo refuses to be sold to Microsoft for $40 billion
*2016 Yahoo sold to Verizon for $4.6 billion
CEO of Yahoo: “Stonks”

by thequifichuntlord July 08, 2019

Stonks

When you trade 600 wheat for 1 emerald

News: Man sells TV for remote
Me, an intellectual: Stonks

by Random homo sapien June 14, 2019

Stonks

The act of pretending you made some sort of profit out of a useless trade

When you upvote your own post on Reddit:
"Stonks"
Buy buy 1 for the price of 2 and get 2 for the price of one:
"Stonks"

by DankStonks June 18, 2019