simp contract 

A contract written to protect people from falling into the bottomless hole of simpery. The contract includes ten injunctions. These are as such:

I. Thou shalt not spend money on the object of simpery.

II. Thou shalt not ship the object of simpery with thine self.

III. Thou shalt not lay thine eyes on fanfictions or shippy fanart.

IV. Thou shalt not browse pictures of the object of simpery for more than ten minutes a day.

V. Thou shalt not watch more than thirty minutes of videos of the object of simpery a day.

VI. Thou shalt not gush about the object of simping on thy social media.
VII. Thou shalt not show any emotion towards the object of simping.

VIII. Thou shalt not say cheesy, cringey, corny, or crusty things about the members.
IX. Thou shalt not have more than ten pictures of the object of simpery at a time. Thou shalt also not have a single shirtless or sexy picture of them.

X. Thou shalt not become an egg--smooth-brained, hairless, and lacking of common sense.

Each injunction comes with a respective punishment.

Mike: "Dude, I signed the simp contract yesterday and I've never felt so protected in my life! It's like a form of insurance so I won't fall into the shame of simping ever again."
Jimmy: "It's too late for me, man. I already broke three of the rules and now I'm going to get punished for being a simp."

simp contract by eyelidlash July 20, 2021

Simp Contract 

A contract to stop simping

dude, you need a simp contract, you simp!

Simp Contract by donutkiller September 20, 2020

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.

"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."

Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.

I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.

schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008