seattleites 

Most definitly not one in resemblence to this other definition here. Just to let you know they are probably from Portland, Oregon. Portland is the sad, wimpy little brother who wishes he could live up to the expectations that Seattle fulfills.

Hey, I love Seattleites!

seattleites by Seattleite January 12, 2008

seattleites 

I hate all of you fucking pretentious, dirty, smelly, ugly liberals that populate such a God-forsaken hell hole. You go around thumbing your nose at any and everything that is not exactly like you or doesn't fit perfectly into the way your shriveled little brain works. Your flannel shirts can fuck off. Your 501's suck. Your motherfucking goddamn teva's are DISGUSTING and even you know that Birkenstocks are just flatout wrong. The majority of women are seriously fucked up in the head (headcase, psycho bitch) and would not think twice about fucking your best friend and then telling you about it, just because you kept her goddamn (insert any object here) for too long. And I've never in my life seen such a pathetic bunch of whiny, pessimistic, obnoxious-for-no-reason, DELUDED, closeted males. Seattleites hate everything, including other Seattleites and especially non-natives. It's because they all have rain brain. Gee, do you think it can rain for ANOTHER day in a row? Anyone seen Noah?

Tourist: Hi, how are you?
Seattleites: (in their cheesiest, fakest tone possibe, aka just acting normal) ..oh, hi!
Tourist: Beautiful city you have here.
Seattleites: (looking tourist over like he/she is a giant piece of shit) Do I know you? (passive-aggressively walks away to go home and cry for 10 hours)
Tourist: Ok, well go ahead and walk off now, lib. Oh, hey, C U Next Tuesday! C'mon lets get the fuck out of this God-forsaken hell hole. And Lord! please!! ENOUGH WITH THE MOTHER-FUCKING RAIN!!!!

seattleites by Seatthell January 31, 2007

seattleites 

Lots of Seattleites think they are victims of government or capitalism. "Look what you've done with my life!" or "How dare you impose this government upon me!" is their furious motto. They hang out in little revolutionary coffee shops plotting their next direct action or meaningless protest. Some may openly flaunt Communist badges or paraphernalia. Other Seattleites are ginormous yuppies so full of themselves their hot ego fog blinds their ability to see anything clearly. These people drive around in some trendy hybrid dick-ass car or bike to work (knowing nothing of vehicular cycling) making SURE they disobey every single traffic law possible while looking like a total spandex assfag. Then, there are the "true" Seattleites who were born here and basically think other Seattleites deserve to be executed. These are the silent urban trolls who will violently attack any innocent conversation traveling their direction. "You're not from here? ARE YOU! (motherfucker implied)" is a beautiful and customary greeting of the natives. Everyone in Seattle pretty much completely despises everyone else in Seattle for living in THEIR Seattle. Seattleites are officially the world's most pussified and temperamental people that have ever existed.

Hey hey -- ho ho -- Seattleites have got to GO!
Solidarity against Seattleites!!!

seattleites by hotForSTALIN April 27, 2011

Teenage Sattelites

Teenage Sattelites is a Blink-182 song off of their 2016 album California.

Come and fill the atmosphere! Woah! We're Teenage Sattelites! Woah! We're Teenage Sattelites!

-Blink 182

Bob: See that beautiful girl over there with that punk rocker boy? They're Teenage Sattelites.

Sam: I didn't know there was such a thing as a Teenage Sattelite. So, that's what teens look like from space.

Teenage Sattelites by PWS27 May 10, 2017

Seattleite 

1. Any person living in, or within ten miles of The city of Seattle, WA
2.Is easily agitated when tourist asks to see the original Starbucks, Microsoft or Kurt Cobain's house. True Seattleites do not care for these things.
3.Considers Seattle to be the best city on Earth.
4. Is a pretentious coffee snob due to the thousands of delicious coffee houses and rostaries that surround them.
5. Any person who knows not to visit Pike Place Market on a Saturday.
6. Any person who was disappointed by EMP (unlike the inbred hicks from across the country who come to visit it).
7. Anybody who knows that "eating dicks" means eating burgers.
8.Any person that hates it when Californians drive through Washington and cry about the rain and the cold.
9. Typically a city that is completely devoid of soccer moms.

On the 8th day God created Seattle
and on the 9th day God created the Seattleite
on the 10th day, God finally rested.

Seattleite by Burr-Lee Boone November 25, 2006

Seattleite 

A person residing in or around Seattle.

"Those seattleites can't take the heat!"

Seattleite by ben perschek September 12, 2004

Seattleite 

(improved on)
1. Any person living in, or within 50 miles of The city of Seattle, WA
2.Considers Seattle to be the best city on Earth.
3. Is a pretentious coffee snob due to the thousands of delicious coffee houses and rostaries that surround them.
4. "Too good for an umbrella"
5. Any person who knows not to visit Pike Place Market on a Saturday.
6. Any person who was disappointed by EMP (unlike the inbred hicks from across the country who come to visit it).
7. Anybody who knows that "eating dicks" means eating burgers.
8.Any person that hates it when Californians drive through Washington and cry about the rain and the cold.
9. Typically a city that is completely devoid of soccer moms.

Look at all the coffee she drinks, she must be a seattleite.

Seattleite by Jude H October 31, 2007