Seattlitis 

A social disorder common to residents of Western Washington State, and the city of Seattle in particular. People suffering from Seattlitis display many of the following symptoms:

1 -- Overinflated sense of self-importance, and a condescending attitude towards others.

2 -- Lack of desire or ability to initiate conversation with new people or to make and keep friends. Commonly caused by a combination of the above mentioned self-importance, and a tendency to become sucked into the dramas of one's own life and hobbies (which may involve a group but which never ever involve people in the group bonding with each other or becoming friends and spending time with each other apart from the activity).

3 - A superficial facade of politeness donned by a person to mask a rootless, yet powerful disdain for the one they are conversing with, most likely rooted in the superiority complex mentioned above.

4 - Initiating conversation with a stranger for no reason other than to tell them an odd factoid or pay a compliment, asking them if they have plans for the day, and when the stranger indicates that they are free, immediately excusing one's self from the conversation or otherwise snubbing them or flaking out of actually committing to spend time with them at any future date.

Examples of Seattlitis in action:

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Girl : "Hey there, that is an awesome shirt!"
Guy : "Thanks, it's from The Netherlands. I got it on my last trip"
Girl : "I love The Netherlands so much, it's been a long time since I've been back there."
Guy : "Yeah, it's a great place."
Girl : "So, what are you up to today?"
Guy : "Oh, I'm just going out to get some coffee."
Girl : "Cool. Well, have fun with that!" *Walks away*

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Guy # 1 : "Hey man, what's up?"
Guy # 2 : "Not much. I had a date last week with that hot girl I met."
Guy # 1 : "Cool, so how did it go?"
Guy # 2 : "We made out all night, and it was really hot. She didn't want to let me out of her bed the whole time! The next morning she was all like 'Let's get together again!'"
Guy # 1 : "Awesome, so when is the next date?"
Guy # 2 : "Never. Bitch has Seattlitis. She flakes out of every suggestion I make."
Guy # 1 : "Sucks, dude. So, what are you up to this evening?"
Guy # 2 : "Not much. I don't really have any plans tonight."
Guy # 1 : "Oh well. See you later!" *walks off*

Seattlitis by Seattlite September 7, 2007

seattleites 

Most definitly not one in resemblence to this other definition here. Just to let you know they are probably from Portland, Oregon. Portland is the sad, wimpy little brother who wishes he could live up to the expectations that Seattle fulfills.

Hey, I love Seattleites!

seattleites by Seattleite January 12, 2008

seattleites 

I hate all of you fucking pretentious, dirty, smelly, ugly liberals that populate such a God-forsaken hell hole. You go around thumbing your nose at any and everything that is not exactly like you or doesn't fit perfectly into the way your shriveled little brain works. Your flannel shirts can fuck off. Your 501's suck. Your motherfucking goddamn teva's are DISGUSTING and even you know that Birkenstocks are just flatout wrong. The majority of women are seriously fucked up in the head (headcase, psycho bitch) and would not think twice about fucking your best friend and then telling you about it, just because you kept her goddamn (insert any object here) for too long. And I've never in my life seen such a pathetic bunch of whiny, pessimistic, obnoxious-for-no-reason, DELUDED, closeted males. Seattleites hate everything, including other Seattleites and especially non-natives. It's because they all have rain brain. Gee, do you think it can rain for ANOTHER day in a row? Anyone seen Noah?

Tourist: Hi, how are you?
Seattleites: (in their cheesiest, fakest tone possibe, aka just acting normal) ..oh, hi!
Tourist: Beautiful city you have here.
Seattleites: (looking tourist over like he/she is a giant piece of shit) Do I know you? (passive-aggressively walks away to go home and cry for 10 hours)
Tourist: Ok, well go ahead and walk off now, lib. Oh, hey, C U Next Tuesday! C'mon lets get the fuck out of this God-forsaken hell hole. And Lord! please!! ENOUGH WITH THE MOTHER-FUCKING RAIN!!!!

seattleites by Seatthell January 31, 2007

seattleites 

Lots of Seattleites think they are victims of government or capitalism. "Look what you've done with my life!" or "How dare you impose this government upon me!" is their furious motto. They hang out in little revolutionary coffee shops plotting their next direct action or meaningless protest. Some may openly flaunt Communist badges or paraphernalia. Other Seattleites are ginormous yuppies so full of themselves their hot ego fog blinds their ability to see anything clearly. These people drive around in some trendy hybrid dick-ass car or bike to work (knowing nothing of vehicular cycling) making SURE they disobey every single traffic law possible while looking like a total spandex assfag. Then, there are the "true" Seattleites who were born here and basically think other Seattleites deserve to be executed. These are the silent urban trolls who will violently attack any innocent conversation traveling their direction. "You're not from here? ARE YOU! (motherfucker implied)" is a beautiful and customary greeting of the natives. Everyone in Seattle pretty much completely despises everyone else in Seattle for living in THEIR Seattle. Seattleites are officially the world's most pussified and temperamental people that have ever existed.

Hey hey -- ho ho -- Seattleites have got to GO!
Solidarity against Seattleites!!!

seattleites by hotForSTALIN April 27, 2011

sweatalitis

Sweatalitis is when you sweat a excessive amount when not doing anything, it can cause you to feel like you're gonna pass out

I have really bad sweatalitis

sweatalitis by Pivital May 24, 2016