Purple J 

Short for 'Purple Joint', a condition caused by the inability to score when it matters most. Similar to blue-veiners except accompanied by anger, seepage and uncomfortable underwear problems. Purple J's are most common in misogynists, steroid abusers and angry men in fraternity sweaters.

Biff grew rigid looking at the curves defining Trent's tight cut-off jorts and knee-high tube socks. But when the final horn sounded Trent went home and got porked by the winning mascot leaving Biff nursing his bruised ego and a Purple J.

Purple J by Heatmiser July 8, 2012

purple jesus rodeo

An alcoholic drink comprising of 1/2 everclear, 1/2 grape NOS energy drink and purple (grape) cool aid mix, plus 2 caffeine tablets all put into one standard red plastic cup.

the name comes from the following:

Purple: because the drink is purple in color
Jesus: because you will get so drunk you may see jesus
Rodeo: because you'll be so hopped up on energy drink and caffeine tablets that you may be prone to jumping on your friends and riding them around like you're in a rodeo

GUY #1 oh man what happened last night?
GUY #2 dude you drank one Purple Jesus Rodeo and starting running around the party jumping on people!
GUY #3 Yeah then you passed out and we had to take you to the hospital.
GUY #1 NICE!

purple jesus rodeo by Jeff "Danger" Hoernemann November 29, 2010

Purple Jerkin 

The act of twisting one's penis until it's purple, then masturbating furiously.

"Yo, I'm straight purple jerkin right now."

"Last night I purple jerked so hard I popped at least 8 blood vessels."

Purple Jerkin by Tungsten Pimp January 19, 2022

Purple Joffrey 

Masturbating furiously with a tighly clinched fist, causing discoloration of the head of the penis.

"I gave myself a Purple Joffrey looking at that picture of Rhianna in heat posing with her ass in the air, sans panties."

Purple Joffrey by sans panties April 14, 2014

Purple Jizz Monkey 

A Purple Jizz Monkey is the overly complex drink ordered by the d-bag in front of you at a crowded bar. Often served as a shooter, this drink is characterized by its convoluted and redundant ingredients, and is almost always ordered with 4 or 5 other equally impossible drinks. When the fuck-ram in front of you orders a Purple Jizz Monkey, this invariably delays your drink purchase by several minutes, and the chick you were talking to before you went to get drinks is probably already fucking some townie.

“Thanks a lot, Melvin, you took like 20 minutes to get our drinks and now we’re all sober.”
“Dude in front of me ordered like 5 purple jizz monkeys, my hands were tied.”

Purple Jizz Monkey by Bill Sampson, Esq. February 21, 2009

Purple Jesus 

4. Nickname for rookie running back Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings.

The Vikings beat the Falcons thanks to a 60 yard pass reception and run by Purple Jesus.

Purple Jesus by mphilg September 26, 2007

Purple Jesus 

Minnesota Vikings running back and future NFL Hall of Famer Adrian Peterson.

Man, did you see Purple Jesus shred that Bears D yesterday?

Purple Jesus by PurpleJesus September 22, 2007