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phantom turd 

N. (fantum terd)
When you take a shit and look in the toilet and there is nothing there.
After a long day of work I came home and took a long PHANTOM TURD, then I went to McDonald's.
phantom turd by Champ Kind November 14, 2005

Phantom turd 

Faeces that disappears around the u-bend without flushing, leaving no trace it had ever been there.
I know I've just had a shit, but it's a phantom turd!
Phantom turd by Dark 1 January 10, 2004

phantom turd 

the turd that always returns no matter how many times you flush...
The phantom turd would not flush no matter how hard I tried.
phantom turd by unknown June 11, 2006

Phantom Turd Snake 

When a person feels they have let out the longest log turd of all time, only to look in the toilet and see a rabbit pellet looking shit. The feeling is most disappointing for twitter shitters everywhere.
"I was going to tweet about this giant shit I took, but alas it was a phantom turd snake."

Not to be confused with "phantom shit"

[Phantom Turd] Menace 

(Noun)Someone who likes to defacate in unlikely public places, with or without the support of onlookers. This is often for a feeling of shock-satisfaction.
Come back here you Phantom Turd Menace and clean that stinking feces from my fridge

Huey! Next time you're at the peep show, try masturbating instead of power-shitting all over the window like a Phantom Turd Menace!