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Phantom Period

Phantom Periods are typically defined as period pain that comes and goes in a vague manner. You will find yourself on the toilet hunched over in pain, only to realize the pain isn't really THAT bad, or even worse, that there wasn't any pain in the first place. This type of pain cannot be conveyed properly in speech.
Me: I'm having a Phantom Period.
Period Normie: what's that?
Me: When you're on your period and it hurts but it also doesn't.
Period Normie: da fuk