None the Wiser

The classic game of covert, brazen fapping in a relaxed hangout with two or more conscious and unsuspecting friends present. One is most successful under a blanket or snuggie, suppressing urges of heavy breathing, distinctive skin-clapping noises, and the desire to turn the pornhub mobile volume higher. The burden of proof rests with the masturbater (henceforth known as the fooler) in presenting a seawater scented tissue or pair of boxers upon completion. In coastal regions, where this smell is continually airborne, the fooler may show their freshly dripping partial to their peers to chalk up a win.

Tanio: "Ha! You guys are none the wiser! Get a whiff of this!"
Mxke Purp: "Doesn't count. I pointed out your phallic shadow cast on the wall to Nandy a minute ago. We let you finish out of courtesy."
Tanio: "Fine, I'll get my parents on the ride home."

by Banandy June 18, 2014

None The Wiser

The close relative of Nostradamus The Wise, only Wiser.

Fabled to have been his cousin (or even Solomon The Wise’s cousin), None The Wiser was of far superior intellect above and beyond that of his peers. (Some say he predicted the Big Bang before it ever happened)

Sally: “So you’ve met Nostradamus The Wise?”
Bob: “Of course! Who hasn’t?”
Sally: “Alright, but have you met his cousin, None The Wiser?”

by Hot-Cross Pun March 16, 2026