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a second-rate destination for kids who couldn't have afterprom in the hamptons.
mike: where ru guys going for afterprom
dan: we're going to the hamptons. were gonna get mad shitty and hook up with some hot bitches. should be chill. how about you?
mike: eh, my friend's date has a house in montauk, so we're going there. its gonna be pretty lame. not too much alcohol, and all the bids are mad immature and prude.

dan: sorry bro
mike: fuck my life
montauk by capnjack July 4, 2011
montauk (in reference to, but not THE mtk, ny)

(vb.) - to put shaft and balls in mouth simultaneously.

enjoy.
Dude, I totally montauked Betty last night. I didn't think her mouth could ever open that wide.
montauk by little guy December 13, 2008
Is some slang term for Montana preppy, stuck up bitches use to confuse others who aren't down with their scandalous pussy ass crew.
"Hey Becky!" "Like, OMG Lizzy! you're going to Montauk tomorrow?!" "Yeah I know, I'm going with Brad. we plan on taking pics of ourselves all dressed up in our gay ass preppy clothes, and send you guys it through myspace!" "Like no way!"
montauk by NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM December 12, 2007

Montauk Monster 

The Montauk Monster is a creature with a "dinosaur beak" which allegedly washed ashore dead in Ditch Plains, near Montauk, New York in late July 2008.

Speculation in published reports included theories that the Montauk Monster may be a turtle without its shell—even though the shell of a turtle cannot be removed without damaging the turtle—a dog, a raccoon, or perhaps a science experiment from the nearby government animal testing facility, the Plum Island Animal Disease Center. The "monster" may also be a decomposed pig carcass. The creature's appearance may have been altered through immersion in water for a extended period before coming to rest on the shore, making it difficult to identify.
The "Montauk Monster" was decomposing in the sun as there was a slight stench in the air. It smelled like my ex-girlfriend's pussy.
Montauk Monster by Nicky Papers September 28, 2008

montauk mash job 

When you are getting your your junk pounded on by a significant other (e.g., a partner, stranger, lover, hornswoggler) whose hands are sandy af.

The act of really going to town on someone's private parts with hands / feet filled with sand.

A "Sandy Handy" but with a little more gusto!

This is a non-gender bias term, anyone can give or recieve a montauk mash job as long as thier extremities are sandy and you are really "just mashing it." You also don't have to be in Montauk, or on a beach.
"Whoa look at those two homeless guys giving each other Montauk Mash Jobs under the boardwalk" -- an angsty teen witnessing a grown man receive a sand filled hand job on Long Island

"Yeah she gave me the ole' Montauk Mash Job" -- a guy with severe sand burns on his dick

Guy 1: "She was trying to grind my dick into dust with her sandy hands"
Guy 2: "So she gave you the montauk mash job"
montauk mash job by #SquidKid April 24, 2017

montauk fuckboys 

A group of boys from Montauk, NY who spend half their year roaming wild and unemployed on the lush island of Puerto Rico. They do not understand the meaning of the word "no" and their fettishes include girls leaving.
Montauk fuckboy - You said you're leaving in two days?
Girl - Yeah, I'm bummed
Montauk fuckboy - Let's just hang out then
Montauk fuckboys
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The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
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kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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