Minnesota Swirly

A Minnesota Swirly is a bullying act, normally happening to shorter people. To perform the Minnesota Swirly, you must first get a large man (preferably a football player or obese man) to defecate in a public toilet bowl. The bigger the feces, the better, as it will be used soon. Next, find your victim. Shorter people (under 5'3") are typically better than taller people, as they are easier to maneuver into the Minnesota Swirly. Lastly, flip your victim head-first into the public toilet with the feces inside, and flush the toilet. Feces will be smeared throughout the hair of the victim, and will taint the smell for days. (For an added effect, try having each member in your group urinate on the victim while the toilet is flushing.)

Man 1: "Yo man, Peter over there is really short! We should Minnesota Swirly him."
Man 2: "Hell yeah, I'm in. Let's find a shitter first, though."
Man 3: "I'm in! What toilet do I shit in?"

by the one and only dunce September 11, 2025