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Microsoft Excel 

Software created by Microsoft that non-technical people use instead of a database, or cheap companies use as a crappy application studio.
We have 6,000 Microsoft Excel files out there that are exactly identical in reference to the type of data they store. It would be perfect for a database, but we use Excel because the web server we store them on is already paid for by another department and we don't want to pay for a database.

Microsoft Excel VBA applications need to die. You will never get a real programmer to stay around if all you want them to do is build VBA applications with that shit because you are too cheap to buy Visual Studio. This may be why your turnover is so high or your developers lack motivation and ambition to do real work.

My shitty job wants me to program in VBScript and Microsoft Excel VBA. I am looking for a new job because I value my skills and wish to avoid Excel hell.
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Microsoft Excel 

An app created from the 7th circle of Hell. It promises that it acts as an easy-to-use, readily accessible spreadsheet manipulator.

But in reality it slowly rips whatever thin layers of sanity and patience you have left, away... and offers no easy way out.
Past: Et tu Microsoft Excel?
Present: Microsoft Excel is like a keyring with a thousand different keys on it, but only one of the key's open the one lock on one fucking door.
Future: Microsoft Excel?! Oh It is an ancient evil we dare not speak of! For fear of waking the monster beyond the Gates... we must remain silent, yet wary.

Microsoft excel 

A useless piece of shit program. Nothing good comes out of excel. No but really, literally, nothing.
Microsoft excel by Eleesa77 July 11, 2016

bang a you-ee 

of Massachusetts orig. "to make a u-turn"
hey, we missed the bar, bang a you-ee
Word of the Day on July 19, 2026
The word 'flag' as pronounced by people with thick Belfast accents. The term is a perfect encapsulation of the disproportionate and overblown reaction to the removal of the Union Jack (as in 'de fleg') from above City Hall in Belfast. Where previously it had flown for 365 days per year, it is now flown on 17 designated days of the year - in line with many other British cities.

The event caused a portion of the Protestant community ('fleggers') to make international pricks of themselves as they proceeded to wreck the fucking place, claiming it was another erosion of a 'British' identity they perceive to have been under attack since the horrifying spectre of equality reared its head in Northern Ireland.

The word 'fleg' - and indeed 'fleggers' - fittingly describes a section of humanity unconcerned with knowledge, reality or the vagaries of the English language. Like America's tea-baggers they are ruled by instinct, fear and paranoia with a side dish of rampant bigotry and startling ignorance of the world around them.
"Wat de fuck like! The taigs got de fleg took down! Let's wreck de fuckin place! No surrender!"

"De fleg has been took down! Before ye know it there'll be a united Ireland! Attack Short Strand! God Save The Queen!"
Fleg by OnionFleg August 9, 2013
Word of the Day on July 18, 2026
To take something small, that doesn't quite qualify as a theft. Probably from the Danish "skæv" or the Dutch "scheef", both of which are pronounced similarly, meaning "askew, or not quite right'. To change an item's ownership without permission, but only something small and of little worth.
"I skeefed an apple off the neighbor's tree." "I skeefed some chips outta your bag when you looked away." "Don't skeef my chair when I go to the bathroom."
Skeef by kachinaflonk July 16, 2026
Word of the Day on July 17, 2026

Hair spider

A tight, tangled knot of loose hair and lint that forms inside clothing during the clothes dryer cycle. It typically hides inside garments, causing an annoying lump or a phantom tickling sensation against the skin until it is found or falls out onto the floor during folding.
I was folding my clothes and a huge hair spider fell out onto my hand
Hair spider by Kmorsels July 15, 2026
Word of the Day on July 16, 2026