Maryland's Eastern Shore 

Known by some as "bumblefuck" or "the Vortex," it's a place where most people who are born there want to get the hell out but just can't, and everyone else thinks it's the most fun place in the world (which would explain why real estate values keep doubling). They wrote the book on the fisherman's way of life, so don't try to trash-talk pick-up trucks, sailing, crabbing, or just sitting in a little rowboat with a cooler full of worms and beer. However, the area's quaint feel and natural, insular background are the perfect conditions for the influx of culture going on at the moment; this is the island the wedding party went back to in Wedding Crashers-- politicians love the area especially in Talbot County, where there are a lot of republican sympathies (as opposed to the western shore) but also a fair few music producers stay to chill out and enjoy a very low-maintenance lifestyle. Only warnings: don't get too violent if someone "pipes" you, there is a disproportionate number of old people, and cops hate teenagers, who can sometimes get arrested for things like loitering and underage posession of cigarettes. Solution: boat parties. Disclaimer: avoid Cambridge at all costs, unless you feel like investing in condoms to wear as gloves. You'll need them.

We're headed to Maryland's Eastern Shore-- yeah, there's gonna be a crab-picking festival, the governor and Dave Matthews are gonna be there.

Maryland's Eastern Shore by fivealarm November 12, 2006

Maryland's Eastern Shore 

The "Cape Cod of the South," the Eastern Shore consists of several historic counties along the Chesapeake Bay that offer a variety of cultural, recreational and relaxing opportunities. Property investors predict it will become the new Nantucket within the decade.

Person 1: So where are you spending your summer?
Person 2: Our new house on Maryland's Eastern Shore...Nantucket is so last year.

Maryland's Eastern Shore by BB29 September 12, 2008

Maryland's Eastern Shore 

The "Cape Cod of the South," the Eastern Shore consists of several historic counties along the Chesapeake Bay that offer a variety of cultural, recreational and relaxing opportunities. Property investors predict it will become the new Nantucket within the decade.

Person 1: So where are you spending your summer?
Person 2: Our new house on Maryland's Eastern Shore...Nantucket is so last year.

Maryland's Eastern Shore by BB29 August 17, 2006

Maryland's Eastern Shore 

Pretty much the definition of REDNECK!

The most un-diverse place I have ever been. There is nothing to do and nothing ever happens. I think one there has been one shooting in the past year (not counting deer, of course). The nearest mall is 45 minutes (plus) away, and that is in Annapolis.
The guys are ugly and the girls are pretty...pretty bitchy! Most people are hyperactive and don't know how to chill. It's the exact opposite of Annapolis.
The Shore is mostly white. Occasionally, you will meet a cool black person, but the few black people that reside there act white in majority; or an occasional white person who thinks they are a gangster but just end up making themselves look like a square and get shot when they visit any major city. There is no ghetto, no projects.

You know you're on the Shore when...
-Your phone book for three counties (yellow and white pages) is no more than one and a half inches. No lie.
-Gigantic tractor things chase you on the road.
-You see trucks with twelve-inch lifts randomly pulled over on the grass...yup, it's deer hunting season.
-Your school colors are John Deere green and yellow.
-Nobody knows what "Naptown" is, even though they're a half hour away from it! People are totally oblivious.
-Carharts and Mossy Oak camo is everywhere (jackets, full suits, hats, pants...).
-People bring "deer jerky" on the bus for breakfast.
-As soon as school lets out, you hear duck and goose calls coming from all directions.
-Boys clip fish hooks onto their hats.
-In school, a letter was sent home to remind boys to empty the pockets of their hunting jackets. Because a bullet was found on the school floor.
-Whenever you pass a deer, someone yells, "That there is a 12-point buck!"
-You smell cow shit everywhere you go.
-You have a cornfield in your backyard.
-People have no sense of style and no one is creative and everyone just copies each other. Most "Shorers" think they know everything but really they're stupid! And everyone who is anyone just wants to get the fuck out but they are obligated to live there or too young to move. Everybody else is just totally oblivious and off in their own gay happy queer land and they think it's the coolest place ever, but they wouldn't survive a day in Anne Arundel County, let alone DC, B-More, or any other major city.

I'm telling you, don't move there. And if you already live there, party hard and get the fuck out, ay-sap.

Maryland's Eastern Shore is gay.

Maryland's Eastern Shore by ninetonine May 13, 2007