Kisswap is when two people are kissing and one person swaps something usually a gum or a toothpick into the other persons mouth
Jake: Hey did you hear about Rebecca and David?
Chad: No what happened?
Jake: David kisswapped a toothpick into Rebecca's mouth and Rebecca accidentally swallowed it. She's in the hospital.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.