some mistake baby shot out of this ho's cunt and started doing card tricks. everyone thought it was awesome and spread a rumor saying he was magical. then a couple dudes got jealous of him and beat him half to death with baseball bats. that gave jesus some brain damage and he started thinking he was the son of god. he started gloating about it so everyone started thinking he was a dick, so they all gathered to torture him. jesus was too crazy to give shit, plus he had 4 strokes and 3/4ths of his body was numb. they thought it would be funny if they made him rot on a cross for awhile so they pounded nails into his limbs. he died slowly. 3 days later a buncha fags went in a cave and saw a dead guy and thought it was jesus so they spread a rumour, and the cult of christianty began!
Jesus: i can du magic trix
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
by Anal Penetration By Force August 6, 2011
Jesus,is a total fake.He'd be cool if he was real,but his dad can go suck a cock for all I fucking care.
by fairytale!!!!!!!!!!! September 16, 2008
fake bitch that ppl hype up to much and should forget abt his mythical ass he is irrelevant and is wasting everyone's time.
by jesus in name we say faggot December 26, 2020
jesus is a really sweet guy and loyal he'll always be there when you need him whenever you need someone to talk to he's the guy you should talk to.
by jesus646 October 9, 2018
omg guys he is sus my grandmother said allah akrah bah or something and I think she is trying to get jeSUS in amogus GUYSSSS help I need some advice. press like if yuo r scared rn guys jeSUS is sus in imposter game.
by KillerXsurvivorXBOX360 April 27, 2021
Jesus, is a man that will take your belongings and claim that it's his. Especially when it comes to girls. He will definitely steal your girl super quick. although, when he does still your girl, he will treat her like a princess and then leave her after a couple days. Jesus is a heart-breaker like any other man, but a real dangerous one. Also really lazy.
by ali gonzales January 4, 2018
a christian leader, or known as the son of Christ. he is known for dying on a cross and rising again after three days.
by kitty kat >:) October 22, 2015