What you say when someone else asks for your help with a so-called "emergency". While this response may indeed be fully valid/appropriate in cases where the asker is unreasonably seeking assistance and/or should be seeking said assistance elsewhere, it unfortunately can also be abused, wherein the speaker may be wrongfully denying the asker reasonable or "Golden Rule" help --- in other words, the same type/degree of assistance that HE HIMSELF would logically expect from others if HE had a similar unexpected crisis in his OWN life.
Stranded motorist: Thanks so much for coming out in the rain to give me a jump-start, Buddy! Bless your heart!
Redneck hippie in an ancient Ford F-150: No problemmo, Dude --- it's only what I'd want myself if I was in this same situation. I'm just sorry you walked all that distance to ask me for help... there's a fairly well-off family who lives a good quarter-mile nearer here than I do, and they have several nice vehicles that they could have helped you with.
Motorist: Yeah, well I actually DID ask there, and the smooth-skinned older hombre who came to the door with a TV-remote in his hand just told me curtly, "It's not my problem --- you should have remembered to turn off your headlights."

Redneck: Really?!?? Well, that totally SUX --- I guess HE'S just never had any problems like this, and so he doesn't know that errors like that can happen to anyone!
by QuacksO January 1, 2017
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A phrase indicating that one doesn’t care about someone’s problem, and feels no responsibility to help fix it. Often used to disguise the fact that while it’s not your problem, it *is* your *fault*.
example 1 (disguising fault):
“Your slanderous article has ruined my good name! I demand that you retract it.”
Not my problem.”

example 2 (not one’s fault):
Right as I was leaving the building after quitting my sysadmin job, I heard the servers go down again. I didn’t turn back. It was not my problem any more.
by roryokane September 23, 2013
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A really annoying string of words that people use when they don't want to admit responsibility for anything.
Sheila: "You used all the gas in my car! How do you expect me to get to work?!"
Jared: "Not my problem."
by MCsquirrel April 27, 2017
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to be used when something just is not your problem.
"Dude, John found out I slept with Sean and now he thinks I'm a slut!"

"that's not my problem."
by OMonty May 12, 2008
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When you open the fridge, grab something, close the fridge, and hear something fall.
"Not my problem!"
by Fucking, MEEEE May 3, 2017
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Your problem...
a: My girlfriend has run away with some shortarse, chav gobshite from Chelmsley Wood! What should I do?

b: Not My Problem....
by nutwiss December 11, 2011
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I find the insinuation that I am using others (solely) for the purpose of my own aggrandizement both condescending and insult and I feel as though I'm being used for the aggrandizement of others in a manner that is both retaliatory and spiteful in reference to various slights (perceived or otherwise) for the purpose of some kind of "hoisted by my own petard" type, conceptual, punishment.
That's my problem.
by Hym Iam July 15, 2022
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