Interuniversal Dibs Protocol (IDP)
This is the protocol to end all conflict in the world today. Essentially, if anything has not been claimed ownership of or is contested, the rightful owner is the one who exclaims Dibs. This can pertain to anything that is but is not limited too: Consumable items, permanent items, roles, antiquities, land, and in rare cases people.
Now there are some amendments to this protocol that must be enforced:
1. You can only call dibs on a certain thing if it is within eyesight of the person calling dibs. No calling dibs on the passenger seat of a vehicle in the checkout, as it must be called upon entering the parking lot.
2. Dibs shall only be called when two or more parties have a claim to that item. This can be through verbal or non-verbal clues in the context of the social setting. If someone calls dibs when there is clearly no other person who wants to lay claim to it, it disembellishes the sanctity of the dibs protocol. Dibs is not a word to use in vain.
3. Just to go into further detail on the dibs protocol applying to people. This pertains to calling dibs on the athletic kids in kickball and other games in P.E class where the teacher cruelly picks the two physically acoustic kids as the team captains.
4. In the event that the item that is being called dibs is a public item (ex: classroom seat), dibs must be renewed daily. Either that or until one person has called consecutive dibs on that item for seven days straight. This gives that person full rights to that object
Now there are some amendments to this protocol that must be enforced:
1. You can only call dibs on a certain thing if it is within eyesight of the person calling dibs. No calling dibs on the passenger seat of a vehicle in the checkout, as it must be called upon entering the parking lot.
2. Dibs shall only be called when two or more parties have a claim to that item. This can be through verbal or non-verbal clues in the context of the social setting. If someone calls dibs when there is clearly no other person who wants to lay claim to it, it disembellishes the sanctity of the dibs protocol. Dibs is not a word to use in vain.
3. Just to go into further detail on the dibs protocol applying to people. This pertains to calling dibs on the athletic kids in kickball and other games in P.E class where the teacher cruelly picks the two physically acoustic kids as the team captains.
4. In the event that the item that is being called dibs is a public item (ex: classroom seat), dibs must be renewed daily. Either that or until one person has called consecutive dibs on that item for seven days straight. This gives that person full rights to that object
EX: 1
Conner (new kid in class): Hey imma sit here
Shaianne(a stuck up dweeb): But I sit there, you can't sit there
Conner: Dibs! According to the Interuniversal Dibs Protocol (IDP), this chair is mine now!
Shaianne: yaknow.....Fair enough
Shaianne takes a seat somewhere else, as Connor is now the rightful owner of the chair.
*Russia and Ukraine settle in the Crimea*
Ukraine: This is some pretty good land here
Russia: Yah I like it too
Ukraine: Dibs.
Russia: Well, I was gonna take it over but I can't now because you called dibs.
Ukraine: Yah I know, eat shit commie.
Russia: Yikes, why ya gotta be so rude.
*Ukraine is the rightful owner of the Crimea, and had this happened instead, there would be no conflict.*
Conner (new kid in class): Hey imma sit here
Shaianne(a stuck up dweeb): But I sit there, you can't sit there
Conner: Dibs! According to the Interuniversal Dibs Protocol (IDP), this chair is mine now!
Shaianne: yaknow.....Fair enough
Shaianne takes a seat somewhere else, as Connor is now the rightful owner of the chair.
*Russia and Ukraine settle in the Crimea*
Ukraine: This is some pretty good land here
Russia: Yah I like it too
Ukraine: Dibs.
Russia: Well, I was gonna take it over but I can't now because you called dibs.
Ukraine: Yah I know, eat shit commie.
Russia: Yikes, why ya gotta be so rude.
*Ukraine is the rightful owner of the Crimea, and had this happened instead, there would be no conflict.*
Interuniversal Dibs Protocol (IDP) by ThatGuyConnor May 7, 2019
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