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Insultant

A consultant with a brash style for "telling it like it is," even at the risk of implying that his clients are idiots.
Consultant: So, in conclusion, my research definitively demonstrates there is zero market demand for your silly product idea.

Boss to underling: Where the hell did you find this guy? He's more of an insultant than a consultant.
by rickbrunernyc November 23, 2009
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Insultant

One who is educated in treating or speaking with contemptuous rudeness and obvious arrogance and paid for this service
Insultant: "You are a spineless, heap of flaming dog poo and you are not worth the paper i wipe my ass with."

Boss: "Who are you and why are you telling me this?!"

Insultant: "I'm Joe's insultant, here's my card and referrals are appreciated."
by TheInsultant November 19, 2011
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Swiss Miss Instant Piss

When you don't check the serving size while preparing your Swiss Miss Instant Chocolate.

According to Sam O'nella the chocolate tastes like piss. So you unleash a primal roar of sheer fury, the cat shits itself and jumps out the window as you kick the Swiss Miss box across the room.
-You take a sip and it tastes like piss, Swiss Miss Instant Piss.
by HealthyMinder April 20, 2021
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Instant Forbes

A term used to describe a jackpot of a specified lottery to be over a billion dollars. Hence, the winner of the jackpot will win a billion dollars or more, meaning that they will be added to the Forbes Billionaires List. In a nutshell, their name will instantly be put on Forbes.
"Hey, did you hear that the jackpot is over 1.4 billion dollars today?"

"You bet! That is like Instant Forbes right there!"
by VMECK July 30, 2016
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The Instant Hagrid

Applying superglue to your face before going down on some hairy gash, once removed there lie a glorious beard.
She had such poor personal upkeep that I gave her The Instant Hagrid

I was so appreciative that she didn't shave, because I could achieve The Instant Hagrid
by The Aussie Shredder December 29, 2011
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Instant Blowie

When you perform an action or say something that causes those around you to compulsively perform oral sex upon you.
Dude 1: Hey I just won that League of Legends tournament.
Dude 2: Woah bro that's sick.
Dude 1: Yeah bro, I got an instant blowie too.
by BigFloppa December 19, 2020
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insultainment

print, broadcast or online content, especially that distributed by a commercial entity, which is so stultifyingly stupid and/or devoid of actual news or information that it can only be considered an insult to the intelligence of (and may even induce fits of rage in) the viewer.
i told my dad he needs to start watching something other than the o'reilly factor. all that insultainment's no good for his blood pressure!
by aarrgghh January 1, 2008
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