Infinite Fruit-Roll Up Theorem 

The infinite Fruit-Roll Up Theorem is a theorem that was sparked in the early 21st century and still leaves philosophers baffled. The base premise of the theorem assumes that a Fruit-Roll Up is rolled around the shaft of a male's penis. This then begs the question, "Is it gay if you were to take a bite out of a Fruit-Roll Up that was miles in diameter but at its center, wrapped around a penis?"

Philosophers argued for years over whether the action would be gay and the following theorem was created:

As the diameter of Fruit-Roll Up approaches infinity, gayness approaches zero.

As the diameter of Fruit-Roll Up approaches zero, gayness approaches infinity.

It is key to note that no matter how thick and large in diameter the Fruit-Roll Up is, as long as its center is rolled around a penis, it will always be some form of gay.

"I saw a massive Fruit-Roll Up in my front yard today and was about to take a bite but then remembered about the Infinite Fruit-Roll Up Theorem and did not want to be associated with any form of gayness."

Infinite Fruit-Roll Up Theorem by fruitrolluptheoreminventor March 21, 2022