Harry Pottards
An obscenely large amount of the population who will lynch you if you don't like the books. Well, they would lynch you if they weren't too busy wanking over a set of the books.
Harry Pottards must be immediately quarantined to keep any taint out of the genetic pool, but most likely 45% of all the people you know are Harry Pottards to one degree or another.(90% if you're in school)The books are actually well written, unfortunately, there are those who take a good thing WAY TOO FUCKING FAR. Harry Pottards are born from typically young folks, and most seem to be illiterate. How they manage to read these books is unknown. It is theorized that they mate in the book lines, which is why the lines seem to triple if you blink. If you express your dislike for these holiest of holy books, they'll become very angry and might even attempt to hex you with their 'wands' that they picked up at Borders for 20$-because God forbid they spend that money on an actual book. A Harry Pottard cannot comprehend the simple fact that THERE ARE OTHER BOOKS IN THE WORLD. Do not try to reason with a Harry Pottard about how they might like to read 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' or 'Lord of the Rings' as a change of pace from Harry Potter books. This will not work. See examples for the different types of Harry Pottards.
Harry Pottards must be immediately quarantined to keep any taint out of the genetic pool, but most likely 45% of all the people you know are Harry Pottards to one degree or another.(90% if you're in school)The books are actually well written, unfortunately, there are those who take a good thing WAY TOO FUCKING FAR. Harry Pottards are born from typically young folks, and most seem to be illiterate. How they manage to read these books is unknown. It is theorized that they mate in the book lines, which is why the lines seem to triple if you blink. If you express your dislike for these holiest of holy books, they'll become very angry and might even attempt to hex you with their 'wands' that they picked up at Borders for 20$-because God forbid they spend that money on an actual book. A Harry Pottard cannot comprehend the simple fact that THERE ARE OTHER BOOKS IN THE WORLD. Do not try to reason with a Harry Pottard about how they might like to read 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' or 'Lord of the Rings' as a change of pace from Harry Potter books. This will not work. See examples for the different types of Harry Pottards.
Teeanger1- OMG DID YOU LOOK AT THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK?! OMG IT'S GOT WORDS IN IT!
Teenager2- Yeah, I was like, disappointed and like, stuff. They like, really, like took away from, like, the plot and like stuff.
Slightly more intelligent teenager3- Hey, Harry Potter was great and stuff, but I really liked the new Series of Unfortunate-
T1- OMG WHAT THE HELL?! OMG NOT KEWL. OMG.
T2- You should like, go burn in hell and like, stuff. The Harry Potter books are like, really awesome, and like better then, like your shitty books. Did you like, even like, read it or like, stuff?
Oprah Book Club Mom- I think it really SPEAKS to me as an individual, blah blah blah...it is clearly the voice of the younger generation...Blah, Blah Blah.
Teenager 3- But...but I don't hate it! I just want to read something else-
#1, #2, Oprah B C Mom- STONE HER!!!
Teenager 3- Fucking Harry Pottards!
Teenager2- Yeah, I was like, disappointed and like, stuff. They like, really, like took away from, like, the plot and like stuff.
Slightly more intelligent teenager3- Hey, Harry Potter was great and stuff, but I really liked the new Series of Unfortunate-
T1- OMG WHAT THE HELL?! OMG NOT KEWL. OMG.
T2- You should like, go burn in hell and like, stuff. The Harry Potter books are like, really awesome, and like better then, like your shitty books. Did you like, even like, read it or like, stuff?
Oprah Book Club Mom- I think it really SPEAKS to me as an individual, blah blah blah...it is clearly the voice of the younger generation...Blah, Blah Blah.
Teenager 3- But...but I don't hate it! I just want to read something else-
#1, #2, Oprah B C Mom- STONE HER!!!
Teenager 3- Fucking Harry Pottards!
Harry Pottards by Orypeci April 23, 2009
