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Gluten-Free Friend 

A gluten-free friend is a friend that sabotages every meal out with their bullshit. If a gluten-free friend senses people are having fun, they instantly become shit crippled, and ask if what they’re consuming has gluten.
We were having a great night last night when Justin got the bubble gut, and started yelling that his free range tofu had gluten in it. He totally fucked up the night; I’m putting him on the list of gluten-free friends.
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