a combination of futile and utensil; in other words, using a utensil inappropriately. this can be extended to using any object in a way not in the original design.
dan was sitting there, staring off into space, using an icepick to clean his ears. he should know better than to use a futensil for such an intimate action.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.