i got no funds
by icle_shane August 20, 2003
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Money, cash, corn, dollars
man: Are we gonna book that holiday?
woman: Yea, as soon as i get some fund.
by toastface July 29, 2005
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The process of putting a certain part of your body into the anus or rectum of another body.
You son of a bitch, I am going to FUNDS! (F-U-N-D-S.)

Hey, I would really like to F-U-N-D-S.
by Dr. Mateo Ole February 16, 2007
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A phrase usually said in jest to mock another person's idea. The idea is usually stupid and lame with little market value.
Person A: Okay so get this...how about for a new video game, we pit four players against a zombie invasion! Except here's the twist: all the zombies are CLOWN zombies!
Person B: FUND IT!
by Mattanonymous February 15, 2009
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An individual who accepts their meager existence in back-offices and gray cubicle rows until they dissipate into pure anonymity. Frequently excreted on by the rest of the company as a human cesspool, they lurk in the hazy glow of asinine spreadsheets and fruitless excel recreation. Individuals suffering from this syndrome have been known to cope with their existence by extended lunches at ill repute bars playing buck-hunter and talking about how they are "under appreciated". Severe psychological damage and alcoholism are the most commonly experienced byproducts.
Joe is not management material, he had a 15 dollar break which shows how poor of a fund accountant he is.

And here is our back-office, they are the piece-of-shit (POS) fund accountants who crunch our numbers.
by Vito Nicola May 7, 2008
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A type of investment fund with very high fees for investors and a focus on complex financial derivatives. Hedge funds charge around 20% of returns (sometimes a lot more) plus a flat fee of typically 2%.

Originally hedge funds were based on the concept of risk hedging; high-yield investments are always riskier than low-yield ones, so a fund manager could presumably put all the money in one instrument with enormous risk and hope for the best. That is, to put it bluntly, insane. So the manager uses a strategy of hedging risk as cheaply as possible, such as a very elaborate combination of derivatives that rise in value if the main asset declines in value.

Hedge funds are organized to be very exclusive, requiring a very long commitment and limited membership. The managers are much more daring and will take much more aggressive risks than mutual funds.
The largest hedge fund company is JP MorganChase.

During the first decade of the '00's, hedge funds outperformed most other asset classes. But when they melt down, like LTCM in 1997, it can be a huge event.
by Sorry, the good guys lost September 4, 2010
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A sum of money set apart for discretionary and/or undocumented spending, often fraudulent, illegal, or dishonest.
News Junkie: Our governments is widely known for unaccountable slush funds built up to funnel money to their friends.
Innocent Kid: Are you serious? I've never heard about that. How this could ever happen?
by humblepiece June 2, 2017
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