Amelia: "I'm sending you a listing of a fixer-upper. It needs a lot of work but the price is good and so is the location."
Bob (upon receiving the listing): "You've gotta be kidding me, Amelia. Looks more like a fixer-downer to me. Take another gander."
A phrase written hastily on a piece of plywood, the floor of a hastily constructed drainage pipe house. My friend asked me to read the phrase. I did and it was awesome, and we used it for the next 10 years, mainly to confuse people, as we would randomly say the phrase in conversation. Shortly after the day it was written, my friend "translated" the phrase. The only word I now recall was "moycon" it translated as "marihuana"
Means that something is very fine, or that you feel excellent. If someone asks how you feel and you simply say "fine", you might just be saying it out of convention. Adding the "dog's hair split three ways" shows that you actually mean it.
Another form of the expression is "finer than a frog's hair split three ways", although literal frogs do not have hair.