first mate

The second in command on a ship (I know).

The person most likely to stab the captain in the back, which is ironic as he should be his closest confidant.

Captain Barbosa was second in command as first mate of the Black Pearl before stabbing his captain Jack Sparrow in the back and taking the ship for his own.

by Jamie Douglas December 6, 2006

First Mate Rob

This hot and sexy kid who dressed up like a pirate on halloween. He also has a slut Ex girlfriend named Amanda who nobody likes. First Mate Rob also has a heterolife mate named J Wood. First Mate Rob and J Wood go to Vo-Tech together, where they slack off and make fun of Miss Piggy and Hotdog Boy. One day Rob and J wood got bored and they decided to tell Hotdog boy that Neo called and he wanted his Trenchcoat back. Oh man good times has by all. Theres also this kid named Deep Fried Dan, hes a crazy kid who asks people if they're afraid of cell phones. Also if you have sex with Rob, you always come back for more.

J Wood:Oh man Robs wearing a patch!
First Mate Rob:Its first mate Rob you scum.
J Wood:Sorry Suge, please don't kill me Suge.
Rob:What we doing today J Wood?
J Wood:The same shit we did yesterday...
Rob:Megaman bitches! But before we do, i got to watch Shaun of the Dead again!
J Wood:Go kill yourself Rob....OH GOD LOOK OUT DANS TRYING TO BITE YOU!
Rob:AHHHHHH
*J Wood and Rob run to the other side of the room*
J Wood:What are we gonna do?
Rob:Hit it in the head!
J Wood:What are we gonna throw?
Rob:I don't know, throw a god damn computer...
J Wood:But these computers belong to liz!
Rob:WHAT?!?!?!That makes NO FUCKING SENSE!
J Wood:Whoops, i'll take this one.
*J Wood throws a monitor at Dan, killing him*
Rob:Wow, that was weird....
J Wood:Yeah boyeee, find something to clank.
*J Wood and Rob clank binders*

COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU!

by J Wood and First Mate Rob January 10, 2005

Maternal Fetal Medicine (Standard Fetal Medicine): The First Juvenile Release.

What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to knowing that axolotls are also eagles.

Person 1: Are you a homo-sapien who is addicted to knowing that axolotls are eagles.
Person 2: Yessa
Person 1: Maternal Fetal Medicine (Standard Fetal Medicine): The First Juvenile Release.

by LeSouffleDeVersailles February 9, 2025

My father and mother only beat me with materials and objects, you are lucky you that you get the empty hands: The First Juvenile Release

What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.

Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: My father and mother only beat me with materials and objects, you are lucky you that you get the empty hands: The First Juvenile Release

by Theusurpedmammarygland February 4, 2025

firstmasterbrandon

An anime TikToker who loves Fairy Tail but always misses

Firstmasterbrandon rated FMAB a 3/10 but Fairy Tail a 9/10

by DEREKUMO February 15, 2021

Fist-pumpable Material

The variety of strong stimuli presented in settings such as: sick parties, the presence of hot sluts and/or excess alcohol and legal/illegal narcotics. Where a bro/ a group of bros feel the need to compulsively thrust their fists outward whilst flexing in-between repetitions. This action may be done with both arms (from the chest outward) or with just one arm (jersey shore-esque). The stimuli of fist-pumpable material can be presented in a setting as simple as a sweet website, or in a setting as radical as a rager.

Bro #1 – Yo Broski, the Brofessor showed me this website called the guidetolaurier.weebly.com – found some extremely fist-pumpable material dood.
Bro #2 – I’ll check it out man.

Bro #1 – Brochacho what happened at that rager Emily took you to?
Bro #2 – Bro, Broski passed out at 8PM. Brotein Shake smashed two windows. Brotato Chip did the Carlton and won a dance-off. LMFABRO and Brochill fought – but then Brohan got involved and got them to shotgun two tallboys of fourloko in order to restore the peace. The Brofessor had four bitties in his room at once, then Broba Fett decided to rap about it and got laid as a result. Brosicle recklessly funneled a 26 while receiving head. Bromosapien went to the party with his girlfriend and ended up swinging with her and the ratchets. Brocean invited his Bass Pro Shop hockey bros to the party and dominated at flipcup and beerpong, but then Han Brolo was caught f*cking this hot slut in this other hot sluts room by the dons! Abroham Lincoln jumped in and got all political on their asses – thankfully Bromazing interrupted and offered a triple-shot of tequila and a sweet bong rip to the Dons as a sign of their pardon and regret for Han Brolo’s behaviour. The dons were iffy until Brorannasaurus Rex screamed his name and brought Brohemian in back from Ottawa with a bag full of legal narcotics prescribed by Brohemian himself. The Dons and Bros partied in peace. It was an extremely fist-pumpable experience.

by The ultimate bro August 19, 2013