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A television channel set up to financially take advantage of the obsessive nature of pre-teen girls.
1. The outrageous price of Hannah Montana, Jonas Brothers and High School Musical concert tickets.

2. The all too ample merchandise sold with Disney Channel stars' faces on them.
by MMMusic October 15, 2008
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23
What kind of obnoxious television is this?
Its the Disney Channel.
All I see is a bunch of kids yelling about fruit juice..
by Dr. Seuss, PhD June 19, 2011
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24
The only thing on TV in Hell, mostly reruns with no good humor and it brainwashes little kids so that they have the same crappy sense of humor as the show. They use laughmachines to make kids think something is funny thus developing the bad sense of humor. Also is very effective at killing braincells.

A long time ago it played good shows (chip n' dale rescue rangers, Tale spin, duck tales, and old Disney cartoons) but apparently Satan possed whoever runs Disney Channel and decided to attempt to ruin TV and music.

All stars that are on this channel think they can sing for some reason, such as Hilary Duff, the fat black kid from Cory in the house, Christy Carlson ramaro, Salena Gomez, Hannah Montana, and last and worst the Jonas Brothers

Furthermore, one of the most awful things to be ever called a movie, High School Musical is the sinful spawn of this channel. Had the disastrous result of launching Zac effron and Vanessa Hudgens (add both to list of crappy singers) to fame

This Channel tries to hide it but it has launched the careers of basic whores such as Britney Spears and the porn star known as Vanessa Hudgens (she sent naked pictures of herself to Drake Bell and Disney slapped her on the wrist)

The only thing kids from 7-14 (esp girls) watch and would probably do anything the channel tells them to do
Satan: Disney Channel is working marveoulously in destroying music and the sense of humor, soon the world population of young children will be mine!

Smart person: Do not watch Disney channel it will fuck you up if you are to young to see how terrible and evil it is

Little Kid: I love Disney Channel!! HA HA HA HA, YEAH ME !!!!! that is so FUNNY!

Person: What is that crap on the radio
Person 2: its those damn disney channel stars that think they can sing
by theblaackKnight July 26, 2009
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25
The crappiest channel out there. Was supposed to be about classic Disney cartoons but instead started making all these crappy shows about teenagers with some retarded plot and slapping the Disney label on them so parents will let their kids watch.

And of course the only kids that watch that shit are eleven-year-old girls who try to act like they're sixteen. Of course all the characters on every single one of their shows is a teenager, just so 11-year-olds everywhere can watch and say, "I watch Lizzie McGuire and Hannah Montana and That's So Raven on the Disney Channel, so that makes me grown-up!" Every show on that channel is geared towards eleven-and-under-year-old kids but try to make it look like they're geared towards older kids.

Let me also say that the actors and actresses CANNOT ACT, yet they are possibly the biggest stars in Hollywood right now. Why, you might ask? Because of the gullible eleven-year-old girls who tune in every night to watch because it makes them feel older.
"On an all-new Hannah Montana, Miley's dad gives her a brand-new credit card! But OF COURSE she goes overboard shopping! What's a tween to do?!"

"Dude, if I have to hear my little sister sing that Hannah Montana shit one more time, I swear I'm gonna BLOW MY FUCKING BRAINS OUT!!!"

"Disney Channel Writer #1: "You know, I feel like even though we've already got Lizzie McGuire, Phil of the Future, the Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Kim Possible, and That's So Raven, we STILL don't have enough teen shows!!"

Disney Channel Writer #2: "I KNOW! Let's make a TV show about a tween (excuse me, teen) who is a regular girl during the day but--bear with me on this--is a POP STAR AT NIGHT!!!!!!!"

Disney Channel Writer #1: "OH MY GOD! I'm really glad you remembered our rule--EVERY central character on EVERY Disney Channel show HAS to be a teenage girl! I'm so proud of you for remembering! This is such a great idea!"
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26
A great channel BEFORE IT GOT CONTAMINATED AND DESTROYED BY THE NEW STUPID TV SHOWS ETC: Thats So Raven, Hannah Montana, Cory In The House.... WTF!!! Disney is suppose to be about quality animated movies and shows in the good old days, Now they are getting greedy and just making bullshitty movies to earn money. The actors and actresses pretend to like their fans when in fact they don't give a shit and want to make $$$$$$$$. They dont show a single non disney commercial, wth is up with that you cant be that greedy.....
Person 1: I use to love Disney when I was a kid but now it just sucks with all the "actors and actresses" who have no skill.
Person 2: What about ZAC EFRON!!!!
Person 1: Are you shitting me????
Message: Don't watch disney, its not really worth your time, your better off hanging off with real friends and doing realistic things rather than thinking about other peoples impossible lives(etc living in the white house, being a pop star yet a student.... Come on that's not possible seriously...)
Disney channel sucks now don't waste your time. period end of discussion
by abby3145135135 August 30, 2007
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27
The worst television channel in the world. Here is how to Disney writers make a new television show:
1. instead of using your creativity use the simple plot line: Teenager(yes teenager) looks normal but has a secret : She is actually a (insert profession, mythical creature, or other thing).

2. Put some humorless, cheesy jokes into the script. Don't worry about them being funny, just add the background laughing
3. Cast the most prettiest, skinniest girl you can find. Acting talent not required because all they need to do is act funny. Singing talent can be needed, but more than likely you should just edit their voice
4. Shoot the show, but don't worry about reshooting. Plus: just make cardboard sets rather than actually spend money going to a place
5. ADVERTISE ADVERTISE ADVERTISE! One major thing to do is make the audience think that the main characteris like everybody else, but she isn't
6. Then make as much products as you can. Pencils, dolls(a must), bed-sheets, anything you can get your hands on. If your show gets a lot of viewers then you can make movies(should do a musical because Musicals are easy to write and easy to market)
7. Repeat cycle for next show
*On the next episode of Lucy and the Country rednecks on Disney channel*
Disney actress: Oh my jizzle, Todd has a pig. No wonder he was all hoggish

Studio audience: Hahahahhahahahahahhawhahahhahahahahh
Teen viewer: Why the hell was funny?
by Annemermaid1995 August 23, 2009
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