A competition between guys to see who has the biggest dick.
Person 1 : I bet my shlong is far bigger than yours

Person 2 : Theres only 1 way to find out, lets have a dick-off
by bennycnz March 30, 2010
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A "dick-off" is a challenge between men to see who's penis is longer...
Billy: I bet mine is bigger than yours!

Tom: No way man, there is no way yours is bigger than mine.

Billy: Well I guess we will have to have a "dick-off"
by WillyTJr May 8, 2010
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To waste time in a manner found inappropriate by a superior or leader. Often times this is not the first time that such inefficiencies have taken place; use of this term implies frustration and eagerness to get said task completed.
-Dude, I can't play b-ball today 'cause I've got to finish up this flippin brief.

-Well, maybe if you'd stop dicking off asking for fucking tots all the time, you'd be done by now!!
by Jyash April 21, 2005
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The act of two men engaging in one-upmanship-especially as related to impressing a woman or attempting to present self as intellectually superior.
John and Jack got into a dick off at the bar but I don't think Sally was interested in either of them.

by schmeg8 April 26, 2009
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Goofing around at work; especially when you are being paid to do real work.
I got fired cause me and phil were dicking off on the bulldozer.
by Sam April 23, 2005
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A special competition between two males that often occurs AFTER heavy consumption of alcohol in which each adorned contestant needs to prove his superior masculinity over his rival. Often times, this will take place during an afterset (a party that occurs at someone's residence after an alcohol-serving establishment has closed for the evening). In order to crown the winner of the competition, each contestant must lay his erect penis down on a table and measure the exact length and exact width of the male organ. An appointed judge with no bias towards either contestant must then multiply the measurements (Length x Width) of each contestant and calculate the final statistic. The winner is determined by comparing the final statistic in a "greater-than/less-than" assessment.

For example: Contestant #1 dimensions are 6.75" in length and 2.75" in width, equaling a score of 18.5625. Contestant #2 dimensions are 5.75" in length and 3.25" in width, equaling a score of 18.6875. Therefore, since 18.5625 < 18.6875, Contestant #2 gets to claim the fame of superiority.
Jerome: "Kevin and Dan each think that they're packing more pud than the other."

Giorgio: "Why the heck does it even matter?"

Jerome: "I don't know. I think that they're gonna have a dick-off in front of the ladies at the afterset in order to crown who is king, once and for all."

Giorgio: "Whatever."
by Strangle-Dangle June 12, 2010
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An insult widely used across the hampshire county of england.
A: Do you fancy going out to the movies tonight.

B: Pffft. Dick off love.
by Rach [Dirty Irish] October 4, 2008
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