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dick merchant 

A peddler of penis. One who handles, touches, tastes, and is overall very knowledgeable about penis and penis lore.
Daniel: "Dude, I heard that David has a small penis."

SoS: "Don't be a dick merchant, Daniel."
dick merchant by SoAS February 2, 2014

dick merchant 

1. A man constantly in pursuit of dates or relationships

2. A "pick up artist," or someone who thinks they are
1. "She's a bartender, she's not into you. Stop acting like a dick merchant with too much schlong to sell."
2. "Look at these dick merchants trying to move some product on that poor booth babe."
dick merchant by jen4k2 September 9, 2021

Dickmerry 

(n) A person or thing that is simultaneously happy and a douche
ex: "Todd you are such a dickmerry for laughing at Sue after she got hurt."
Dickmerry by Annes March 2, 2009