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AppleBees's Customer Service

Person 1: Have You Been To Applebees?
Person 2: Yes, I have read the bible.
literally Jesus: AppleBees's Customer Service how may I help you.
person 1: I need my family to come back.
Words you can keep

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.9 <.7.9.7.6.>《.7.9.7.6.》A "memo bill" is a shortened name for a type of business document called a credit memo or debit memo, which is used to adjust a customer's account balance instead of issuing a new invoice《.7.9.7.6.》<.7.9.7.6.>.9.
.9 <.7.9.7.6.>《.7.9.7.6.》A "memo bill" is a shortened name for a type of business document called a credit memo or debit memo, which is used to adjust a customer's account balance instead of issuing a new invoice《.7.9.7.6.》<.7.9.7.6.>.9.

Big Dan's Tavern Customer 

A Big Dan's Tavern Customer is the kinda guy who will cheer on a gang rape & give high fives to each other during like the 1987 movie The Accused with Jodie Foster. Probably knows Brock Turner.
Steve & Ted are total Big Dan's Tavern Customers they tried to Cosby some chick at the bar last week.

Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance 

"You can stroll a store's aisles till Doomsday and never spot da item you want, but then, just as soon as you interrupt a staffperson to ask for help in locating said desirable, THAT'S when you will notice your sought-after item right off!"
While stocking up on food at a Super Walmart, I was looking for larger packages of Armour Vienna sausage so that I could save a few cents per can, but although I had thoroughly searched the surrounding areas on the shelves, I still hadn't found anything bigger than the small six-packs, so I finally asked a nearby employee if there were any of the larger packages in stock, possibly in the back room. Well, just as we were both walking back to the area of the aisle where I'd been looking, THAT'S when I finally spied the 12-packs that were sitting on the very top shelf! Guess that was a classic case of Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance... ah, well, again, the 12-packs were indeed sitting very high up, so at least that was a plausible excuse for my not having seen them before, especially since the store usually doesn't even expect its customers to notice stuff that's placed 'way up there, anyway; that "lofty" location is merely where they store extra merchandise for replenishing the lower-down shelves when the stock there starts to run low.

Customer Service 

A job which causes your ass to bleed like hell, your psyche to be corrupted by severe hatred and psychosis, and which has significantly increased the suicide rate of humans. You always have to take it up the ass by these whiny, bitchy, brain-fucked assholes that are called "customers" who do nothing but scream, complain, and make your life a living hell. Finding an actual intelligent and non-bitchy customer is like selling a pack of Grand Prix cigarettes: it's so fucking rare that it almost never happens.
-"I'm sorry but I do not have enough money to cash this payroll check at the moment."
"What? No, I want a manager, right now."
"Fine, bitch, I'll call a manager for you, but it's not going to change the fact that I don't have enough money in my fucking till."

-"OMG THIS IS THE WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE I HAVE EVER HAD, YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE ANY MORE CHEETOS IN STOCK, THAT'S IT IM NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN, WALMART IS GOING TO DRIVE YOUR ASS OUT OF TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Go ahead. I'm a full-time college student working almost a full-time job at minimum wage, sleep-deprived and hardly getting homework done on time. You don't know how few shits I give."

-"I want your number to corporate because these cookies rang up 99 cents more than advertised!!!"

-"OMG THATS IT IM REPORTING YOU GUYS TO THE BBB FOR FALSE ADVERTISING!!!!"
"Cool story bro, want a fucking trophy or something?"

-"I swear, once I graduate and receive my degree, I'm going to kiss all of you asshole customers goodbye for a real job!"

Nexon Customer Service 

Guy 1: So, I was hacked right? So I sent in a ticket to Nexon Customer Service.
Guy 2: What?

Xbox Customer Support 

1: A pain in the ass system for trying to fix a problem but just leads to more shit wrong with your system then before.

2: A secret underground tunnel full of indians (not feather indians, dot head indians), and mexicans that do not know what the hell they are doing and google your question as you ask it.
Guy 1: My xbox sounds like it is fixing to explode because the fan sounds like a helicopter.
Guy 2: Have you called xbox customer support?
Guy 1: Are you fucking high!??!?! I called and they said there should be a slight noise coming from the fan. They can't get it through there head that it is loud enough to wake up my neighbors.

Dude 1: I GOT THE RED RING OF DEATH!!!!
Dude 2: Did you call xbox customer support.
Dude 1: Yeah. They don't know what the fuck they are doing. They said it should be green not red, and I could have swore he was googling porn in the background.
Xbox Customer Support by X CHAZZ X November 29, 2009
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Acronym for Non-Athletic Regular Person. Your schools lacrosse team probably shouts it at you while you walk by.
Lookie at these bunch of narps, NARP NARP NARP
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High School Liquid 

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He is high school liquid, he ate lunch with the nerds and hung out with the jocks after school.
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Purple Patch 

To describe coming into something good, coming into good luck and or good times.

Like walking over small green hills in the countryside then coming across a purple patch of flowers, thus it being unique and out of the ordinary.
I hit a real purple patch.

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(Ewokese) Freedom!
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