Crunch-a-tize

To make impure, molest, destroy innocence, break hymen.

Crunch-a-tize me cap'n.
I am gonna crunch-a-tize that thot during breakfast!

by Concerned Elder April 25, 2021

Crunch-a-tize me

The journey begins as one partner (must be a male) sticks Cap'n Crunch brand cereal to his own genitals. He then slides his newly made "sexual breakfast bar" into the anus of his partner (could be male, female, or anything with a nice sized rectum). The dominant figure, also known as the "Cap'n", thrusts his tasty treat in and out of his partner until he fills their insides with milky love. The act is completed as the soggy cereal is released into a bowl and consumed by the Cap'n and his partner.

"Crunch-a-tize me" Max begged, and I did as he asked. It was a thrilling experience for both of us

by therealCap'nCrunch May 31, 2015

Crunchatize me cap'n!

when a girl says this aboard a ship, you, as the captain of the ship must gather every seamen aboard and have them stand around her in a circle and simultaneously nut on her causing her skin to eventually be crunchy from all the cum

hot girl: "crunchatize me cap'n!"
captain: "iv'e been waiting my whole life for this moment"

by happycaptain September 18, 2020

Crunchatize

When a food item is prepared way too crunchy, toasted, or in any way too jagged for your mouth to handle. The result of eating anything crunchatized is akin to chewing bubble gum, if that bubble gum was made of razor blades and despair. The flurry of micro-lacerations are just bearable enough to foolishly finish the meal, but not enough to avoid regret and anguish for the rest of the day. Your mouth WILL sting, ache, and spite you for the rest of the day.

Avoid crunchatized edibles at all costs.

Cap'n: "Would you like your sandwich toasted?"
Me: "Just a little bit, don't crunchatize that shit! Not again... Never again..."

by D-Hern February 20, 2012

Crunchatize Me Captain

The phrase for requesting that an uncircumcised man peels back his hood and slaps you in the face with his smagma covered wiener.

"Derek, crunchatize me captain!"

"Last night I got crunchatized by the captain!"

by Evana, J-dawg, Casper, Grimmer September 30, 2011

The Crunchatizer

The act of stuffing Cap'n Crunch into a female's frontal sex hole and giving her shitty pleasure palace a "milk enema." The male then gives her oral from one hole to another interspersed with brief bouts of first-base until both partners have gotten a well-balanced breakfast.

"Are you hungry? Do you want to go get a bagel?"
No, I gave my neighbor The Crunchatizer last night and I'm still full."

by Tiquante Jones July 11, 2010

Crunchatize Me Captain

It's when you have anal intercourse, but while your giving the girl the business, Captain Crunch cereal is in her vagina.

Oh my God, Danny gave me the Crunchatize Me Captain last night for the first time, and I came blood.

by Smhole Shmartin November 13, 2020