When a food item is prepared way too crunchy, toasted, or in any way too jagged for your mouth to handle. The result of eating anything crunchatized is akin to chewing bubble gum, if that bubble gum was made of razor blades and despair. The flurry of micro-lacerations are just bearable enough to foolishly finish the meal, but not enough to avoid regret and anguish for the rest of the day. Your mouth WILL sting, ache, and spite you for the rest of the day.
Avoid crunchatized edibles at all costs.
Avoid crunchatized edibles at all costs.
Cap'n: "Would you like your sandwich toasted?"
Me: "Just a little bit, don't crunchatize that shit! Not again... Never again..."
Me: "Just a little bit, don't crunchatize that shit! Not again... Never again..."
by D-Hern January 27, 2012
The act of stuffing Cap'n Crunch into a female's frontal sex hole and giving her shitty pleasure palace a "milk enema." The male then gives her oral from one hole to another interspersed with brief bouts of first-base until both partners have gotten a well-balanced breakfast.
"Are you hungry? Do you want to go get a bagel?"
No, I gave my neighbor The Crunchatizer last night and I'm still full."
No, I gave my neighbor The Crunchatizer last night and I'm still full."
by Tiquante Jones July 11, 2010
when a girl says this aboard a ship, you, as the captain of the ship must gather every seamen aboard and have them stand around her in a circle and simultaneously nut on her causing her skin to eventually be crunchy from all the cum
by happycaptain September 18, 2020
The phrase for requesting that an uncircumcised man peels back his hood and slaps you in the face with his smagma covered wiener.
by Evana, J-dawg, Casper, Grimmer October 1, 2011
It's when you have anal intercourse, but while your giving the girl the business, Captain Crunch cereal is in her vagina.
Oh my God, Danny gave me the Crunchatize Me Captain last night for the first time, and I came blood.
by Smhole Shmartin November 13, 2020