Don't count your sheep before the shepherd's market 

Don't assume you have won before the results are in.

"Ive aced that test!"
"Don't count your sheep before the shepherd's market"

Don't count your sheep before the shepherd's market by NIGHTY G May 31, 2019

Count Fecula's disappearing act 

What happens when you evacuate your bowels and the waste product perfectly snakes it's way down the cicular pipe at the bottom of the toilet and is no where to be found post- wipe pre- flush.

Man I just Witnessed a count Fecula's disappearing act In the bathroom.

Count Fecula's disappearing act by bmilligan05 August 16, 2016

Bringing up someone’s follower count

The sign that someone has clearly lost an argument online.

“Your 50 followers must be eating that “sick” burn up. Must be nice to find some enjoyment on here though since your saints haven’t been able to provide that since 2010.”

This man is bringing up someone’s follower count, what a massive L

Bringing up someone’s follower count by Dubbyhub August 23, 2021

God's body count

Something very surprising. Compare it with Satan's and you'll worship him soon.

God's body count is higher than Satan's.

God's body count by john stromboli January 10, 2021

Count your randi's 

Another term for 'Count your blessings' coz Randi is an absolute blessing

stop being ungrateful bro, count your randi's and be thankful

Count your randi's by CoccyMilker November 23, 2020

Comedian's "Full Count" 

Three bottles of "Auchentoshan Three Wood", two bottles of "Woodford Double Oaked," and a four pack of "Ta +Meilleure" Double NEIPA (Bases Loaded). A certain comic's hotel room "Special Ask" for comedy tours. Consuming the entirety (as a group, NOT solo because that's quietly referred to as a "Mickey Mantle"....and likely fatal) is called a "Grand Slam" referring simultaneously to the resulting overwhelmingly classy shindig and to the high return baseball achievement.

"What'ya need slim." - Hotel Manager
"Set em' up Jim, Comedian's "Full count", Bases Loaded tonight!." - Comic
Smiling "You lookin' for trouble?" - Hotel Manager
"We're hittin' a Grand Slam tonight baby!!!!" - Comic

Comedian's "Full Count" by Ben Whyte February 6, 2021

Count my 1’s 

Run my 1’s or count my 1’s means to fight someone

He told me to count my 1’s so I knew we were gonna fight after school

Count my 1’s by itssor September 30, 2023