“We can’t tell you the pay scale for this job because we are well aware that this position pays low across the entire country, however, we will make it $0.05 above the average of all jobs across the board so we can refer to it as competitive. That’s right, this salary is so competitive that we’re not even gonna tell you what it is. Please apply for this position of our dying company so we can contribute to your sad depressed life and assist you in wanting to put a shotgun in your mouth.”
Job title: Cashier
We offer a competitive salary! Please, please, PLEASE become part of our “team” so that our CEO can continue to wipe their ass with $100 bills while we all continue to eat nothing but pasta.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'
A hardo is a person who tries extremely hard at everything. Most times a hardo will try very hard at things that do not require excessive effort. For example, sports practices, gym class, etc.
Wow did you see Jack at practice today? What a hardo!