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coffee paradox 

When even the simplest task is impossible to perform before drinking coffee.
From Socrates theory that sometimes making coffee is too complex to tackle before drinking coffee.
That giant mess on the counter occurred because of coffee paradox. I put the grounds in, I put the water in, and I turned it on. But I forgot to put the pot under that water drippy thingy so now I'm sucking the coffee out of this towel until I get enough coffee in me to do it correctly.
coffee paradox by barkinspider December 6, 2013
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Coffee Paradox 

When you haven't had any coffee so you don't have the cognitive ability to make coffee.
Person 1, "Dude why is Person 2 standing there drooling in front of the coffee machine?"

Person 3, "They're suffering from the coffee paradox."
Person 2, *drools*