chocolate teapot

UK: A chocolate teapot is an utterly useless item. Alternative terms also used are chocolate fireguard and chocolate kettle.

Refering to a useless or pointless item /deed /action /incapable person: "as much use as a chocolate teapot"

by Clansman April 22, 2009

Chocolate teapot

where one takes a shit, don't wipe, and then teabags yo gurl.

M: hey babe, can I make you a chocolate pot of tea
F: uh, babe, you mean a chocolate teapot?
M: oh yeah, that. let's do that. I'm glad you remembered for me. let us.

by MizzSrirowskiacha June 4, 2018

Chocolate teapot

UK: Insult used in the military when a recruit is either accident prone, clumsy, just plain slow or a combination of these.

Variations include:
Chocolate kettle
Chocolate fireguard.

PRIVATE you have left your safety catch of AGAIN...YOU ARE A SLOB, you are about as much use as a fekin' CHOCOLATE TEAPOT!, etc, etc....

by Blue Cawdrey November 22, 2004

Its about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

NOT USEFUL AT ALL

Bill: do you think my having my old things is useful?
Sam: Its about as useful as a chocolate teapot.
Bill: umm ok?

by Biggest_Hamilton_Fan October 22, 2020

About as much use as a chocolate teapot

A guy/girl who isn't very good at their job,playing video games or sports. Relative to anyone useless.

That George Bush is about as much use as a chocolate teapot

by xterrorx November 30, 2004

Chocolate Teapot

when you stop during sex to shit in a tea kettle, and drip it over your partner while you cum

she asked if we had an electric kettle or if she needed to bring her own chocolate teapot

by pinkgogurt October 24, 2025