couldn't be 

An expression of unwillingness and or apathy towards a specific proposal. Shortened from couldn't be bothered and of fucked

Man 1: Hey, want to go suck a fart out of my ass?
Man 2: Nah, couldn't be

couldn't be by Gooch Mcgee August 4, 2007

Couldn’t be me. 

Usually follows “Imagine ___.” Can be replaced by, “can’t relate.” A subtle way to make fun of something someone does. Can also be used to tell someone what you’re doing.

teacher: max, please move to the front row, away from your friends.
bella: imagine being moved to the front row, couldn’t be me.

//or//

bella, calling max: imagine being in school right now, couldn’t be me.

Couldn’t be me. by kindagroovin February 26, 2020

couldn't be fucked 

when you don't want to do something, so much so, that you, well; couldn't be fucked.

mom: "hey Jonny. take out the trash. will ya?"
jonny: "aw mom, i'm sorry but: i just couldn't be fucked."
mom: "you little shit."

couldn't be fucked by Angus of Regnulass December 27, 2021

couldn’t be me

essentially can’t relate

ellie : wow she’s so good at art!
carly : couldn’t be me, i suck at art

couldn’t be me by gaymergaybie October 22, 2019

couldn't be rocket science 

Anything Dubya can do.

Condi: Well, how hard could it be fly a jet?

LewisScooter: It couldn't be rocket science.

Condi: I could kiss you right now.

LewisScooter: (Crestfallen) But you won't.

couldn't be rocket science by Little Red Robin Hood February 26, 2008

Couldn’t be me

When an individual says something out of the ordinary, possibly erotic, homosexual, or suspect, and you choose not to identify with that individual by saying the phrase.

John: I ate her ass after she shat and didn’t wipe; I got some chocolate and ass last night
Me: What in the goddamn fuck? Couldn’t be me.

Couldn’t be me by Congo1234 September 19, 2018

couldn't be rat-arsed 

In other words, couldn't be bothered.

We tried to get him to send in the form on time, but he couldn't be rat-arsed.

couldn't be rat-arsed by Fearman May 24, 2008