Bratching 

To cream violently and gloriously

Im Bratching so hard

Bratching by Bobert442 October 25, 2023

Bratching 

(gerund) When someone or something is brand matching.

"Nike socks, shoes, shorts, and shirt? Wow, you're really bratching today."

Bratching by TheOriginalAustin May 5, 2018

Bratching 

Combination of bragging and bitching. When someone brags by pretending to complain about their problems that aren't really problems at all.

Common among middle class social climbers, frequently observed at Starbucks. Alternative for #whitepeopleproblems or #firstworldproblems.

Woman 1: "I'm having my new Mercedes painted a different shade of silver because so many people have that color it's just over done. I didn't notice this before I bought it last month, but there are at least 3 other of the same model and same color at the gym parking lot when I go."

Woman 2: "Will you stop bratching already?"

Bratching by jim vest August 5, 2012

Cave Bathing 

An experiential rite of passage for graduate students wherein the immersion into ancient, thermal, translucent seminal fluid filled Hungarian caverns transforms dissonant, quasi-intellectual brain cells into a hyper-aligned neural configuration, inducing a genius level information processing, multi-dimensional innovation & superior emotional agility.

{Ca 2005 - Budapest Hungary: Two ambitious MBA students, Jason Von Goggle & D Dog, guided by their professorial mentor, Dr. Daniel Thongspeedo enter a musty portal accompanied by European post cold war era techno music. As the moist, loin infused vaporlettes enveloped the 3 men, a wafting sense of purpose revealed itself as a voice, eminating from the waters edge resemblant of an Ancient Ottoman Angel, they heard the words (Hungarian accent), "Get into the cave bath...& explore my caverns." Perplexed, yet eager with confused anticipation, the 3 swam through the hybrid, geo-architectural labyrinth on a quest for wisdom, enlightenment & a surprise, grotesque coital engagement between consenting adults donning the minimum garments required, enough so to give a child mental scars but not risque enough to get arrested. Von Goggle & D Dog would soon emerge, cleansed, subtly violated & reinvigorated with the motivation of an ancient Greco Roman scholar, suited for battle, ontological debate & prepared to expose themselves, with confidence in a more revealing, modernized bathing outfit, like that of their mentor, Dr. Daniel Thongspeedo.

1. "Jason, what is that shimmering oily film on top of the water? Is that supposed to be part of the 'Cave Bathing' experience?" Yes, D Dog, now quit looking at that hairy couple in a primordial carnal exchange, and dunk your sack in the Cave Bath.

2. {Professor Thongspeedo explains to Jason and D Dog} "Gentlemen, follow me down the corridor and immerse yourselves in the bountiful tonic that once permeated the flesh from the likes of the ancient Romans. Now, forget that you just saw a man clipping his toenails near the edge of the reservoir into the bath, and join me in the celebration of your transformation to noble scholars, courtesy of the 'Cave Bathing' experience."

Cave Bathing by Charitable Disguise January 25, 2020

Bird bathing 

When a man washes or soaks his entire private area in a sink (usually a bathroom sink) in an attempt to get it clean. (This term was created and coined on the judges podcast - anchor.fm/the-judgies)

Josh started bird bathing after sex to clean up. He likes to cuddle afterward…

Bird bathing by Flxsh September 4, 2021

Monkey Branching 

Getting your next relationship set up before dumping your current S/O. Generally involves cheating (at least emotionally) on your current partner with the intended future partner. Refers to playing on the monkeybars, where you don't let go of the first bar until you've grabbed on the second.

Bill: "Well, your brother just sent the Save The Dates for his third marriage - they haven't even finalized the divorce yet!"

Joe: "Yeah, the monkey branching SOB did the same for his second marriage as well - all his relationships 'overlap,' if ya know what I mean."

OR

Joe: "Sue and I decided to try an open relationship."

Bill: "I dunno, sounds like she's monkey branching to her *next* relationship."

Monkey Branching by Mai Ainsel March 25, 2022

Bitching & Moaning

Complaning constantly.

I'm tired of your bitching & moaning.

Bitching & Moaning by Nichole McKnight August 6, 2009