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Brown Star Award 

The brown star award is earned after successfully having anal sex for the first time.
Joe Smo - Dude I just screwed Nikki in the ass..it was awesome. Joe Smo's Buddy- Dude you got the brown star award..thats Epic.
Brown Star Award by 1 with Nature February 12, 2015

Granny Awards 

An annual celebration of Archaicisms, primarily serving as an ego defense mechanism for Boomers (and other old people.)
Nominated for 2014 Granny Awards Rock Album of the Year:

Zeppelin, Sabbath, Bowie and Neil Young

-- Four acts that were "too hip to be square"* around 1970.

Kings of Leon and Queens of the Stone Age

-- Named after a passe form of government and a truly ancient Age of Tech.

How desperately we cling to illusions of youth and relevancy. -- Citizen of the Galaxy

* Once upon a time, even Before the Flood, contemporaneous fans of "Old Blue Eyes" and the "Candy Man" embarrassed themselves with such phrases, in a vain attempt to sustain their own relevance. Please, STOP THE MADNESS!

Herman Cain Award 

An award for individuals who vocally opposed masks and vaccinations in response to COVID-19, and then either ended up in the hospital or died.
Person A: "Did you hear about Doug? He died of COVID last week. His family watched it happen on an iPad. So sad."
Person B: "Wasn't he bragging two weeks ago about injecting horse de-wormer up his asshole when he got diagnosed? That guy was a real Herman Cain Award winner right there."
Herman Cain Award by Y2k September 2, 2021

Teen Choice Awards 

Sluttiest children's special in television history. The abomination of awards shows and the most overrated.

Teens don't even watch. Children do.
It's not even their choice. The choice is Miley's and the Jonas Brothers'. And they suck.
Therefore, the awards are nothing but novelty.
You will die of ripping your own head off if you watch the Teen Choice Awards.

Darwin Awards 

An "award" given to people who contribute the most to the evolution of humanity by removing their genes from the gene pool. Sometimes given to people who simply sterilize themselves, but most of the recipiants have ended up dead because of their actions.

Basically, the concept is that people kill/injure themselves to the point where reproduction is no longer possible whilst doing something surrealistically stupid. By insuring that their stupid genes to not spread, they ultimately help humanity and thus recieve an award.

While the concept is funny enough, the actual awards are usually very mean spirited.

Coaches award 

An award given to the following kind of players: one who was pleasant to be around, enthusiastic, never misses practices, always willing to learn, overcame a certain fear while playing, etcetera
that girl won the coaches award for basketball.