A retirement plan, of sorts, for white trash people living in the South. Generally speaking a low-end wage earner will claim a back injury and go to an unscrupulous doctor who will assist in the claim of a debilitating health condition. Ultimately the participant in the Alabama 401K will receive a monthly check, tax free, so technically we could refer to this plan as a Redneck Roth
IRA.
The recipients can usally be found hanging around Auto Zone trying to return a 10 year old starter from one of the many broken down Firebirds (aka trailer park
Corvette) sprinkled in front of their
God-forsaken turd shack of a house but don't understand that Auto Zone does not accept starters actually purchased at Advance Auto.
Some like-minded individuals will also participate in a Mama 401K. This is where the least successful of a
mother's offspring returns to his birth home and mooches off said
mother's social security check. On account of an unhealthy need for familiar approval, the
mother freely allows the formerly errant son to have full reign of the double-wide mobile home. He may even make a half-hearted attempt to rebuild the transmission from his '77 Trans Am that he spray painted black and
gold to look like Smokey's
car as in "Smokey and the Bandit." He constantly claims to be looking for
work when he is not reading the Auto Trader. Usually these people talk of an imaginary check that they will be receiving as a result of a settlement in a lawsuit filed against his employer after a fall from a roof some 6 years ago.
This individual can be seen at the local Wal-Mart, staring carefully and nervously at
cold medicine boxes. Said indivual will usally have a
bottle of acetone or Heet brand water remover in his cart and quite possibly a container or two of drain cleaner. Tonight he ain't fryin'
catfish; he's gonna make a batch of
shithouse meth. He will pay for the purchase by returning the Similac cans he "purchased" a week earlier using the WIC vouchers (sort of like food stamps for
babies)intended for his numerous illegitimate half-wits.
Mama, did my check come in today? I need to by a three
neck Pyrex boiler for the
shed.
Alabama 401K--retirement plan for
broke-ass rednecks who could not read the questions on the ASVAB which is a prerequisite to join the Alabama National Guard.
