Hurty Turds

Noun: Can denote a case of extreme constipation, but also a case of diarrhea, in which one has shat so much that the rectal area becomes irritated. Can also be used when one has consumed extremely spicy foods, causing the fecal matter to be spicy itself, and burn the anus as it exits, or large amounts of dairy product, such as cheese. Basically, any bowel movement that causes discomfort or pain.
Jeez, I really love that curry chicken my coworker made, but it gave me a raging case of the hurty turds.

That hurty turd was so damned big, I thought I was gonna have to have an episiotomy!!!! I was in the corner like Rocky, screaming "Cut me, Mick!!!!"
by Gunslinger19405 December 03, 2011
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Swerving Turd

A trim line on Chrysler, Dodge and Ram vehicles that costs extra to upgrade your steering from being held together by spaghetti, to something more stiff like crucifix wood from the Churches they are constantly going to. It allows others to see how adept they are at trying to keep their Chrysler within two lanes on the highway, and glide them almost without effort into rest areas or the breakdown lane. It also allows Chrysler drivers to use up only two parking spaces instead of the usual three or four when they park at a Trump rally or their job at a hotel sniffing farts out of bedsheets.
Even with her morbid obesity, Irene was able to stay 30mph under the speed limit in the passing lane in her Chrysler as 18 wheelers passed around her, and thanks to the Swerving Turd package, she still could stay on the phone with her church group.
by Arial3535 August 27, 2020
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turd twat

The art of getting poo in your vag from shitting your pants!
jared has turd twat
by tkinrough November 21, 2015
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turd twat

eloquent term for the anus. Usually used in a sexual context, denoting the ability to perform sexual intercourse on said anus similar to that of the twat.
Millie was on the rag so I banged her in the turd twat instead.
by DasItManeZane July 25, 2016
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Turd Sack

A couple that both has incredible farting abilities and constantly blows up the bathroom
Regina turd sacked in the bathroom toilet drenching up the whole apartment.
by GeenaBeena January 27, 2018
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FaceTuned Turd

When you can smell someone’s must through their deodorant
Eww that girl next to you smells like a FaceTuned Turd 💩.
by Caiayna March 18, 2019
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turd chaser

(noun) industry slang for a lower-echelon upstart or novice plumber, often due to the nature of the majority of cheap, quick, service calls he/she commonly performs (id es, cabling out clogged pipes).
Journeyman Plumber: Boss, that property management company called back. Another gummed up garbage disposal...

Master Plumber: We're starting a full stack replacement and all new copper supply lines today--and it has to be done by next Tuesday. Let 'em call the turd chaser if they want it cleaned out. We're busy with real plumbing.
by xeonox January 10, 2013
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