turd kicker

someone you work with who just kicks the "turd" and doesn't respond to emails, answers questions or does their job. They just "kick turds" all day.

Man - I emailed Kaicee a week ago to ask him a simple question and he still hasn't responded. He is such a turd kicker!

by phoenixgirl June 5, 2014

turd growl

when you take a poo and your butt hole growls louder than your girlfriend screaming in the bedroom.

a guy: "DUDE, did you hear that turd growl?!"
me: "Ew, yeah it woke up my baby sister.."

by ilikeyoualotweinerlickingshit July 31, 2009

Turd Hobbit

When a person is so mean, that they actually inhabit the excrement that they are.

"That Lori is a real Turd Hobbit. She probably has a whole Turd Shire ."

by Bakergirl8 September 2, 2017

turd ranch

A sewage treatment plant.

You sure as fuck don't wanna be downwind of that turd ranch on a hot-ass day!

by Kodiak Scott November 13, 2011

Hurty Turds

Noun: Can denote a case of extreme constipation, but also a case of diarrhea, in which one has shat so much that the rectal area becomes irritated. Can also be used when one has consumed extremely spicy foods, causing the fecal matter to be spicy itself, and burn the anus as it exits, or large amounts of dairy product, such as cheese. Basically, any bowel movement that causes discomfort or pain.

Jeez, I really love that curry chicken my coworker made, but it gave me a raging case of the hurty turds.

That hurty turd was so damned big, I thought I was gonna have to have an episiotomy!!!! I was in the corner like Rocky, screaming "Cut me, Mick!!!!"

by Gunslinger19405 December 3, 2011

go turd

Using the phrase taking a turd implies the act of a Poop Goblin, so rather than incriminating oneself, they can instead imply that they are participating in nothing but the luxury of shitting, by saying go turd.

On the other hand, the phrase go turd was inspired by the expression from George Carlin explaining that they'd rather leave a shit than take one

"Hey can you pause the game? I gotta go take a turd."
"Absolutely not, I will not have any Poop Goblins in my house... Ever... again."
"Uhh, okay, well can I just go turd then?"
"Well if you put it that way, I guess it's alright."
the Poop Goblin-sensing crossbow in the bathroom then shoots a bolt straight through the turd taker, thus proving the act of taking a turd will never be forgiven. Go turd.

by DynamiteMechaGodzilla July 2, 2023

turd twat

The art of getting poo in your vag from shitting your pants!

jared has turd twat

by tkinrough January 28, 2016