Parental Notification

TFW all of a sudden you experience an increase in red dots across all your socials and you mistake your newfound popularity for the feigned interest of The Rents.

The Rents take an artificial and outsized interest in your mundane posts this time of year because they want you to cancel that cruise and catch two connections so you can have dry turkey and iced tea on the couch like God intended, in memory of the Fifth Commandment (the one about mum and dad).
Bro, why are you on your phone so much right now?

Bro, my socials are blowing up. So many dots.

What did you post?

A picture of my sandwich.

Let me see.

Oh, Bro. Thanksgiving is next week. This is a parental notification.
by November 15, 2023
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Parental Notification

TFW all of a sudden you experience an increase in red dots across all your socials and you mistake your newfound popularity for the feigned interest of The Rents.

The Rents take an artificial and outsized interest in your mundane posts this time of year because they want you to cancel that cruise and catch two connections so you can have dry turkey and iced tea on the couch like God intended, in memory of the Fifth Commandment (the one about mum and dad).
Bro, why are you on your phone so much right now?

Bro, my socials are blowing up. So many dots.

What did you post?

A picture of my sandwich.

Let me see.

Oh, Bro. Thanksgiving is next week. This is a parental notification.
by November 15, 2023
Get the Parental Notification mug.

Parental Notification

TFW all of a sudden you experience an increase in red dots across all your socials and you mistake your newfound popularity for the feigned interest of The Rents.

The Rents take an artificial and outsized interest in your mundane posts this time of year because they want you to cancel that cruise and catch two connections so you can have dry turkey and iced tea on the couch like God intended in memory if the Fourth Commandment.
Bro, why are you on your phone so much right now?

Bro my socials are blowing up. So many dots.

What did you post?

A picture of my sandwich.

Let me see.

Oh, Bro. Thanksgiving is next week. This is a parental notification.
by November 15, 2023
Get the Parental Notification mug.

Parental Notification

That moment when all of a sudden you experience an increase in red dots across all your socials and you mistake your newfound popularity for the feigned temporary shallow interest of The Rents.

They want you to cancel that cruise and catch two connections to nosh on dry turkey and fight about fascism until somebody cries like God intended when he wrote the 5th Commandment (the one about mum and dad).

They're not interested in you, but if you cancel your interest in them you're going to hell. And your dots will go away.
Q: Bro, why are you on your phone so much right now?

A; Bro, my socials are blowing up. So many dots.

Q: What did you post?

A: A picture of my sandwich.

Q: Can I see?

A: Sure

Oh, bro. FFS. Thanksgiving is next week. This is a parental notification.
by nocharge November 16, 2023
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Parental Notification

TFW all of a sudden you experience an increase in red dots across all your socials and you mistake your newfound popularity for the feigned interest of The Rents
Bro, why are you on your phone so much right now?

Bro, my phone is blowing up. So many dots.

What did you post?

A picture of my sandwhich.

Let me see.

Oh, bro. Christmas is next week. This is a parental notification.
by nocharge December 13, 2023
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stone age parenting

When your parents take all of your electronic shit as punishment.
Little Billy keeps getting D's on his report card. It looks like it's time for some stone age parenting.
by Shit paper March 15, 2019
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shore parent

a parent that never goes in the water while at a beach, pool, lake, or other water activity, not due to an injury or illness
savanna: hey is your mom gonna come in the water?
julie: no shes a shore parent
by totallynotjjne April 29, 2023
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